Treasures for Christmas

"She doesn't really need this, but I am getting it for her because I don't know what else to get her."
"What do you get the person who has everything?"
"I seriously can't even think of anything to put on my wish list."

Have you heard yourself or anyone around you saying these things? I am sure you have, because I hear it all the time.  And every year, it seems to bother me more and more.  Why do we continue this gift giving extravaganza when it becomes burdensome to the giver and receiver?

Now I am not anti-gift and I like to give and receive gifts just like the next person, but I would be thrilled to know that instead of getting me a gift you bought me something from here.  It is really simple too.  Just select which gift you would like and then click through to fill out the order form - all without having to elbow the grandmother next to you who insists that her granddaughter will be the one to end up with the mermaid Barbie!

Maybe if you do a gift exchange with your families you could consider exchange your tradition with something that will change your lives and hearts and invest in the businesses and lives of others.  Or as a family, you each could decide to take one thing off each of your Christmas lists to make room to get something more.

May the grace of Jesus Christ and the wisdom of God our heavenly Father and the peace of the Holy Spirit be with you throughout this holiday season.

Where your treasure is, there will be your heart also. - Matthew 6:21

Tell us your story

Compassion's CEO, Wess Stafford, is asking people to share a story of people who have encouraged or influenced them in some way.  The following is my response and I decided to share it with you!

If you would like more information about sharing your story, visit http://blog.compassion.com/share-your-story/


It is almost impossible to narrow the number of people who have helped throughout my life. When I think of the people who spoke into my life, I seem to remember one line they spoke that seemed to change the entire direction of my life or some event that solidified the cement of who I would become.  These people generally gave into my life in multiple ways over months or even years, but one thing they said or did seems to be where I place a peg on the timeline of who I am.

When I was in 8th grade, I went through a time when I felt very depressed.  I hated going to school and just didn't see how things in my life were ever going to ever improve.  I saw a couple counselors at my school, but nothing seemed to work.  Then one morning, I was teary-eyed and talking to one of my friends and my teacher overheard me, probably not for the first time.  He looked straight at me and said, "Young lady, you need to get yourself to church!".  He then told me that I didn't need to let people effect me and that I needed to find God and what he wanted for me.  He could have gotten into trouble for talking to me about Christianity as my teacher, so he really went out on a limb.  For some reason, I listened and began going to church with my sister.  The depression left and that was really the start of a whole new life for me.

I became a Christian as a freshman in high school, but the following summer I started hanging around some of the wrong people and skipping church. I felt I could justify it, though, because I was babysitting late on Saturday nights and I needed the money!  My youth leader told me she needed to speak to me after service one Sunday.  She said she was concerned with my actions and felt that I needed to consider my choices more closely.  I was indignant.  I told her there was nothing wrong and I was upset that she was insinuating that I was acting inappropriately.  Then my sister stepped around the corner in tears.  She said, "I asked her to talk to you.  I am worried about you." And at that moment, all of the fight left me, because my sister really cared about me.  The older sister that usually thought I was a pest and had her own cool life.

Then I met the man who would become my husband in my sophomore year. I could write a book about all of the ways he has bolstered my faith in God and myself.  He went to a Pastor's conference with our pastor who was mentoring him about a year later.  When he returned home, he said something like, "God has told me that I should go to Asbury College and since you're engaged to me, you'll have to go with me.  But I think this would be really good for you.  You are really smart and talented and I think you and I will really grow and love it there." Now, this wasn't the smoothest introduction to the conversation and it was not what I had planned, but he knew me and he wanted to encourage me to do what was best for me, not just for him. It was one of the most monumental decisions of our lives.  It stretched me, taught me, and blessed me so much, that I now know for certain that it was God's will.

But during that same time, I thought that I could possibly change Josh's mind about this "moving 400 miles away" idea.  So we started visiting other Christian colleges that were closer.  When I was talking to our pastor about none of the colleges fitting us, except that they were closer, he said, "It doesn't matter if you are 400 or 40 miles away, none of them will be like home.  You'll have to make any place you go home.  Your home is with your husband."  That was the day that I decided to give in and move. He was absolutely right, of course, and I have used that bit of information so many times since!

When I was in college, I had a public relations teacher who drove me insane with her red pen.  Every paper I submitted would be returned to me with red ink on virtually every line and it had to be corrected and resubmitted.  When she handed it back to me - with a lovely smile on her face - it would again be covered in red ink!  I would have to correct it and resubmit it.  And again. And again.  But through her red pen and her confident diligence, she taught me how to write well.  She showed me that the secret to a great piece of writing isn't in the rough draft, but in the editing.  I think that is a lesson I that goes beyond just the written word! (Dr. Hurlow, if you are reading this, forgive me for any edit-worthy material!)

After I graduated from college, I landed what felt like a dream job.  It was in my field of study and it was a fairly advanced position for someone fresh out of college.  I quickly became a workaholic and I was miserable, but didn't want to admit it.  I had set the bar so high for myself that I didn't have any room for failure or even for anyone else in my life.  I didn't notice it as acutely as when I visited with my dear friend from college, Elizabeth.  She always has had a way of seeing through my absurdity and hitting me with the truth.  One visit, I was telling her about why I couldn't do this or I had to do that because my job position.  She basically told me flat out that I wasn't my job title and asked me who all of these people were who I felt expected so much.  I realized then that I had become a person even I didn't like and shortly after I quit that job.  I realized that I had made it an idol in my life and was using it as my gauge for success.

And the list could go on and on...When I look back at the people who have really influenced me the most, it definitely wasn't just the ones who told me what I wanted to hear, but it was what I needed.  Some of the most powerful words in my life have been a loving rebuke!

College Days

When I went to Asbury College, now Asbury University, I had some of the most amazing professors.  These men and women made me appreciate things like literature, nature, science, language, etc. and see God's hand in everything from a leaf to the marketplace.

Today, I was thinking of how one day my English Literature professor told us to all grab our stuff because we were going outside on one unusually balmy autumn day like today.  We were studying the classics and he made us love the classics.  I often felt like I was listening to the author himself when I listened to Dr. Gobin read.  On that day, we sat under the trees on the beautiful bluegrass of Kentucky and read these words.  What a wonderful way to appreciate this beautiful day that the Lord has made!

To Autumn by William Blake
(1757-1827)

---

O Autumn, laden with fruit, and stainèd
With the blood of the grape, pass not, but sit
Beneath my shady roof; there thou may'st rest,
And tune thy jolly voice to my fresh pipe,
And all the daughters of the year shall dance!
Sing now the lusty song of fruits and flowers.

`The narrow bud opens her beauties to
The sun, and love runs in her thrilling veins;
Blossoms hang round the brows of Morning, and
Flourish down the bright cheek of modest Eve,
Till clust'ring Summer breaks forth into singing,
And feather'd clouds strew flowers round her head.

`The spirits of the air live on the smells
Of fruit; and Joy, with pinions light, roves round
The gardens, or sits singing in the trees.'
Thus sang the jolly Autumn as he sat;
Then rose, girded himself, and o'er the bleak
Hills fled from our sight; but left his golden load.

It's been a while

It has been a while since I really have written anything of substance on my blog. I can't say I will be any time soon either.

I just have been going about my day and reevaluating many things and keeping my thoughts to myself.  I think sometimes when I let my thoughts go public too much, I try to cater them to what I think they should be and I think so much about what I am thinking, that I sometimes stop my own growth.

One thing I have pondered much lately is my love of autumn and in all the beauty of seasons in general.  For me, the change of seasons always signals a change in me - a change in activities, a change in pace, a change in perspective.  I am so thankful for this time of change, so thankful that I live in a place that has 4 beautifully distinct seasons.  I have been planning on getting some leaves and laminating them for Elias and Xiomara, because they have never seen leaves that have changed colors.  Can you imagine not getting to see the majestic beauty of trees that look like they are glowing with reds, oranges, and golds?  But the changing leaves remind me of how fast the seasons of our lives go.  If we don't catch the beauty of it when it is at its peak, we can never really get it back again.

I need to live this season, love this season, and learn from this season. I need to do what I feel God is prompting my heart to do in the moments he asks me to do them before those moments slip away.

Whenever I think of the colors of fall, it reminds me of a song that a dear friend and our pastor used to sing together.  It is by the group Acappella and Petra remade it, but I think Donny and Michael sang it better.   I couldn't find the Acappella version online, but I did find the Petra version.  The video is cheesy, but the lyrics are below, so you can just read them hear, while listening!

Hope you enjoy it and all the colors that God has given to us!

Coloring Song

Red is the color of the blood that flows
Down the face of one who loves us so
He's the perfect man, He's the Lord's own son
He's the Lamb of God; He's the only one
That can give us life, that can make us grow
That can make the love between us flow 

Blue is the color of a heart so cold
That it will not bend when the story's told
Of the love of God for a sinful race
Of the blood that flowed down Jesus' face
That can give us life, that can make us grow
That can keep our hearts from growing cold

Gold is the color of the morning sun
That shines so freely on everyone
It's the sun above that keeps us warm
It's the Son of love who can calm the storm
He can give us life, that can make us grow
That can turn our mornings into gold (gold, gold)

Brown is the color of the autumn leaves
When the winter comes to the barren trees
There is birth, there is death, yes there is a plan
And there's just one God and there's just one Man
 
That can give us life, that can make us grow
That can make our sins as white as snow
That can turn our mornings into gold
That can keep our hearts from growing cold
That can make the love between us flow
Red is the color of the blood that flows

All I have to do today

Every day when start my day, I think, "Today will be the day that I feel caught up".  And then something breaks, I get put on hold too long, a child gets sick, and all my thoughts of finally feeling like I have accomplished enough to feel caught up vanish like a mist.
What is really necessary?  What is really beneficial? What does God want?  - Then Bella calls me from downstairs and says, "Mommy, can you come read to me?". Or as I grab a glass of tea, I catch sight of Elias and Xiomara smiling back at me from their pictures on the door and I remember kissing their soft cheeks and being in their world. Or I realize that I haven't really even looked at Josh all evening, as he walks into the bathroom to brush his teeth while I wash my face. Or I get a call from a friend who is really hurting and she could care less about the to do list for the day, because the crisis we all hope will never happen to us has truly struck her. I realize that most of the stuff that fills my day clutters not just my time, but my heart.  How do I reconcile the things that I jot down with a pen in my planner with the realization that it takes so much - so much time, so much of me, so much of life.  But even as I type this, I know that this is life and I want to live to my fullest and not leave myself wishing if only I had...
So today, I will do what I can and leave what I can't and love every person that I can along the way.  Because that is really all I have to do today.

Letters to unsponsored children

When I visited Peru, we often asked if the children had sponsors and if they received letters from them.  Even before the words came out of their mouths, I could almost always tell who received letters and who did not by the children's facial expressions.  If they received letters, their faces would light up, as if remembering all the words from their sponsors.  If they didn't have sponsors or didn't receive letters, their faces would instantly look a little sad and they would often drop their heads a few inches before they responded that they did not receive letters. 

So this Christmas, we all have an opportunity to give some of these children who do not receive letters a  chance to get a little bit extra joy - a letter from you. 

Below, I have copied and pasted Julie's blog.  She is an advocate who was with me on my trip to Peru.  Her blog gives instructions on how you can be part of this wonderful gift to unsponsored children.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last year the girls and I wrote letters to unsponsored children for Christmas. We wrote about 5 different letters and then photocopied each one 10 times. Then we mailed them off to Compassion with a note explaining that these were for unsponsored children...it's the only time of year you get to do this, and after meeting many unsponsored children in Peru, I know the kids who receive them must feel the love of Christ through the letters.

I just found out we can do this again! I would encourage you to do the same. It's an easy, easy way to touch the lives of children in other countries for very little cost.

Here are the guidelines:

1. Write a letter or card that would be received by boy or girl, young or old.

2. Include a cover letter explaining that the letters are for unsponsored children.

3. If you wish, specify which country you want your letters delivered to.

4. Mail the letters to

Atten: Laverne, Sponsor Correspondence Team

Compassion International

Colorado Springs, CO 80997

***Cards must be received by 11/30/2010, so mail them soon! ***
I'm so thankful for opportunities like this and hope you'll join me in blessing some kids.

I've just gotta ask...

Annet Ikoju is almost 7 years old and is from central Uganda. Her birthday is on November 22, & it would be an awesome birthday gift to get a sponsor by then! If you would like to start a relationship with Annet or would like more information about her, about sponsorship, or Compassion in general, please send me an email message or post a comment. When you sponsor Annet, for $38 a month, you are caring for her education and health care, as well as giving her a Christian community to have healthy social interaction and to learn about God.  As her sponsor, you can write letters, send pictures, provide her with gifts for her birthday and Christmas, and show her that she can be more than her environment tells her she can be.  I have shared a lot about sponsorship before, but if you would like more information, please feel free to ask.  Our scanner if not working, so I am unable to give you a picture of her on my blog, but if you would like to see her picture, I have one.

I also have child survival packets for a program located in Lima, the city where I spent most of my time while I was visiting Peru. Child survival sponsorship only costs $20 a month.  It is not  a one-on-one relationship, so sponsors do not have to write letters, but sponsors are sent periodic letters from mothers who are in the program, with pictures of them and their babies, and from the pastor of the church where the program is located.  Child survival provides mothers and children with health care, counseling, nutrition, and Christian fellowship within their community and much more.

Since Child Survival is fairly new to many people who may already be familiar with Compassion, I have included pictures from one of the child survival programs we visited while in Lima.

This class occurs at the church during the week.  Mothers bring their children and sit in with them to learn the information that they are to go home and review with their children on the days they are not at the program.  This gives them fundamental learning experiences and age-appropriate social interaction.

This is Julie and Gabriel, a mother and baby who are in the program.  We met them during one of the CSP home visits, which is a regular part of the child survival program.

These are materials that have been provided to the families from the CSP.  The mothers are required to put these in an area of their home where they provide interaction and stimulation for their babies.

More materials.  This is to encourage the families to "make space" for their children to develop, even in their very tight quarters.

This is Julie's front room and where she and her husband and baby sleep.  I am in the corner of the room.

This is their backyard, where Julie's nephew, who also lives with Julie with his mom, plays.

The view from Julie's house.

The classroom at the church.

These little ones who are part of the child survival program dressed in costumes to represent their traditional dress.

Since this little girl is part of the CSP, she will have a better chance to stay healthy and get a great start.  And she will be able to enter the traditional child sponsorship program when she is old enough.

I've found a supplier

I only have two of my Twinings Cinnamon Apple Breakfast Black Tea bags left.  If you weren't reading my blog way back when, to say that this is my all time favorite tea is an understatement.  This tea is so great, that when I heard that it was being discontinued (Twinings - WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!), I went onto Amazon and quickly bought a case of it while I was still able.  But now my supply has ran out.
I went on the internet in search of a tea that may be similar and like strands of light through the clouds, I say a picture on Amazon of the very box of tea that has been a part of my days for so long!  The joy I felt at actually having access to it was so great that I didn't even blink an eye at the price, which was twice what I normally paid.  I was willing to do what I had to do to restore order in my life!  So I proceeded to checkout, excited and expectant.  Then I saw the final cost and my jaw and heart fell at the same moment.  The mean-hearted, opportunistic supplier who had purposely bought out the rest of the supply to take advantage of poor saps like me who just WANT THE TEA BAD was charging $4.95 per box for shipping and handling.  This box weighs less than 2 ounces. 

So would anyone be willing to help me hunt "jdbot" down and do some Soprano-type negotiation?

*Disclaimer: Though the supplier is indeed being opportunistic, I may be a little overboard by actually calling he or she mean-hearted.  But if they really knew how much this tea meant to me, they would surely give it to me free, right?  So, if jdbot is out there, please have some love and let a person have some tea.

Summary of my day

So, I was thinking about how to jump back into this blogging thing again and I decided the best thing to do would just tell you about my day.

If I had to summarize it in one word, I would use the word cozy.

I woke up and knew today was going to be a cozy sort of day.  I normally can tell in the first 2-3 minutes after I wake up how my day will go and, sad-but-true, it often has more to do with my mood than what is happening around me.  Now, there are days that start off great and end lousy and vice versa, but for the majority, those first few minutes are a determining factor.

But instead of going play-by-play throughout my day, I will just highlight the aspects that made it cozy.
1. I listened to my kids talking before I got out of bed and realized how this sound, even the bickering, is part of our healthy, happy family.
2. I ate cocoa wheats for breakfast.  - Some of you may be saying, "What in the heck are cocoa wheats?" and others may be saying, "Why would anyone voluntarily eat that stuff?", but they have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.  I don't eat them much as an adult, but as a child, they were a regular on our breakfast table - with a good dose of sugar, of course!  They not only warm my belly when I eat them, but they sort of warm my heart as well.
3. I put on a hooded sweatshirt and thick socks and enjoyed the smell of the rain.
4. I held Bella and smelled her hair and felt her fingers curl around mine and thought about what a beautiful girl God made and dreamed of the woman she would one day become.
5. I had to punish Bella for throwing a tantrum after school and I felt complete calm during her bad behavior and as I sat with her and explained why she had to be sent to her room.  It not only didn't stress me out, I was thankful to be able to have the time today to confront the situation effectively, since I am fairly sure it is coming from her mixed emotions about school & growing up (She's told me multiple times lately that she is not a baby anymore.).
6. Elias and Bella were playing on the computer, while I made chicken and dumplings for dinner. What could be more cozy than chicken and dumplings? - Hearing Elias' comment about something Bella said about the game - "That person can't be a daddy.  Daddy's aren't lazy, because they are always playing with their kids!". It is such a blessing to hear their thoughts about things when they aren't even being asked!
7. Elias and I worked on his homework and it was fun to see him know things he didn't know just one month ago and to see how empowered he feels by it.
8. I sat and read a book under a blanket, while Josh and Elias were making miniature ramps for miniature skateboards and Bella was playing school.
9. During devotions Elias said, "When I meet someone new, I ask them if they go to church anywhere and if they say no, I tell them a little bit about God and stuff."

When I think about all that I wanted my life to be when I was a kid, about the home I wanted to raise a family in, this is it.  Everything wrapped up into one makes me realize how blessed I am, but most of the blessing is in being able to realize it in the moment. 

So, that is what being unplugged has taught me...

Going Unplugged

I just wanted to check in and let anyone who may be wondering that I am still alive and kicking. After I went away to Michigan for a weekend and had some very nice hours "unplugged", I decided that I needed to do more of it.  So I took a week off of facebook and spent very little time on the computer otherwise.  The week off facebook ended Monday, but I enjoyed it, so I have not been getting onto the computer as much.  It is nice living in my own space, instead of cyberspace, for a while.

A Thanksgiving Prayer

To continue my list of favorites, the following is a prayer that I keep on my fridge and pray it often. And, I am going to spare you commentary!

A Thanksgiving Prayer

Oh, God, when I have food, help me to remember the hungry;
When I have work, help me to remember the jobless;
When I have a warm home, help me to remember the homeless;
When I am without pain, help me to remember those who suffer;
And remembering, help me destroy my complacency and bestir my compassion.
Make me concerned enough to help, by word and deed, those who cry out for what we take for granted.
Samuel F. Pugh

"For when I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink. I was a stranger and you welcomed me..." Matthew 25:35

Another Favorite

Since I mentioned how the Doxology is one of my favorites, I thought I would follow the trend and mention some of my other favorites this week.  (Also, I am running low on riveting, awe-inspiring, laugh-inducing anecdotes that will leave you sitting on the edge of your seat and asking for more. - Oh, wait a second - I never had those! lol!  Well, anyway...)

Here is a favorite verse of mine.  I have many favorite verses for many reasons, but this verse I come back to when I feel like my heart is being pulled in the wrong directions.  There are some gray areas that don't have definitive prohibitions in the Bible, but what is the wise choice for me? 


"Everything is permissible"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"--but not everything is constructive." 1 Corinthians 10:23

Another version replaces the "but not everything is constructive" with "but I will not be mastered by anything."

I have hung this verse on my fridge or in other places where I feel I need the reminder.  It is one that I know by heart and that has changed my heart many times when I have wanted my own way.

This verse is followed by an even harder verse to practice sometimes.

Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others. 1 Corinthians 10:24 


I am okay with being good to others in situations when it is clear that I should be.  Sure, I will be kind and talk to the homeless person when I am serving them in the mission, but do I treat them with the same love and care when I see them out on the streets?  Oh, and there are so many situations like this for me.  Times when I do the right thing when it is expected of a "good person" or a Christian, but what about when it is outside of the bounds of just what is needed to be labeled "good" by our culture.  Am I willing to to go past cultural expectations to do what God calls me to do? 

This reminds me of a situation this summer.  I took my kids to the pool.  They were playing in the shallow end when a couple entered the pool.  They were being pretty loud and obnoxious and the man had few teeth and they were in their clothes, instead of bathing suits.  I really wanted just to move as far away from them as possible.  But my son, who has little to no social inhibitions, started talking to them - a lot.  When he learned the female couldn't swim, he took it upon himself to teach her.  They were more than willing to have the social interaction and were being pretty boisterous about the entire exchange.  There were not many people in the pool and I felt the eyes of all those who were on us.  I began to feel very embarrassed and was wondering what people must think of us and of me as a mother - letting my kids interact with people who clearly had no social etiquette.  I even tried to tell Elias to leave them alone and let them swim more than once.  Then all of a sudden, my heart became terribly convicted.  I cared more about what the other people in the pool thought than by letting my son be kind to someone.  It wasn't like he was in danger.   I was right there with them and everyone's eyes were on us anyway, so it wasn't like they could get away with anything without someone seeing.  So, I decided that I would let the interaction continue and that I would not just allow it, but I would interact too.  It was just another lesson that I have learned from my kids.

Hmmm, didn't plan on sharing that story.  I was just going to give you my favorite verse and call it a day.  But, if you know me, I am very rarely a woman of few words!

The Doxology - AMEN!

Some days I just want to belt out the song that is known as the Doxology. I don't know why, it just feels right. It was my favorite part of the service when we attended a United Methodist church.  At the end of every service it is sung.  Today is one of those days!

Praise God from whom all blessings flow.
Praise Him all creatures here below.
Praise Him above, ye Heavenly hosts
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.
Amen.

Thanks to all the soldiers

I have a friend whose husband has just left for a deployment that will ultimately take him to Kuwait (well, he's my friend too, but you know what I mean!).  I have been thinking of them and praying for them and all the other families who had to say goodbye from our region yesterday. 
Even though I blog, I also still keep a personal journal as well.  The following excerpt is from an entry in my personal journal on the day I left for Peru.  It has been on my mind today and decided to share it.

It was hard to leave the kids this morning...When I was on the train shuttling to my gate, there was a young soldier riding with me.  His face was solemn as he talked to the lady who was riding the train with him.  He said he wanted to get breakfast before he boarded, because he didn't think he would be able to eat on the rest of the flights over.  The way he said it made me think he didn't mean it was because food wouldn't be offered, but because he didn't think he would be physically able to handle it.  I am assuming he is being deployed somewhere, probably somewhere outside the states.  I followed him as he walked in that straight-backed, determined gait that soldiers often keep, even when it isn't required.  As I studied his back and his sober glances to his companion, I realized how selfish I am to be worried about leaving my kids for a week for a trip I chose to take.  This man may be facing the ultimate of unexpectedness and he has little choice at this point.  Since then I have seen several other soldiers in the airport and I have had to fight the urge to stop them and ask them where they are going and if I could pray for them.  Maybe I should.  I wish I would have thanked that young soldier on the train this morning, because even if he wasn't going overseas, he was serving our country.  He is serving for me and my family... Airports are interesting places.  We are here for different reasons, from different places, and arriving somewhere where we will part ways, probably forever, but for a few minutes or hours, we share common ground.

He does it again!

This post from Shaun Groves is a great description of how I have been feeling since returning, the transformation that is still in development and I hope is for a long time.

Then there were 3...

Well, Josh has succumbed to the cold that has visited our house through me.  The jury is still out about whether Bella is going to get it.  She sounds a little nasally, but she always does around this time of year and she isn't showing any signs that she is feeling bad - yet. Josh is plugging through, going to work as usual, but he is definitely moving slower and is a little grumpy about it!
Elias is home again from school, but he is in that stage where he no longer wants to be laying down and stuck in the house, but he still has a cough and sounds sick.  If I didn't care about the other kids in school getting sick from him, I would have definitely sent him today. 
I will be glad when we are all well again, but I am thankful that it is only a minor illness. 
We watched "To Save A Life" last night.  It was a movie that made me think yet again about how trivial we make serious things in life.  About how we spend so much time thinking about entertaining ourselves and finding our own success and happiness, sometimes at the expense of others, even in the church.  I would love to feel like I had never been on the offensive side - that I had never ignored or judged anyone, but I know too well that it isn't true. I am still digesting it and I hope that I won't forget about it anytime soon. It is one of few Christian films I have seen that shows a realistic view of what it means to have a relationship with God and have Christian fellowship, even with the American church's faults and foibles.  If you haven't seen it, I would strongly encourage you to watch it.

Doogie's Blog

I was driving home from the grocery store last night and was thinking about the blogs I have been reading lately.  Out of the blue, a scene popped into my head of Doogie from Doogie Howser, M.D. sitting down at his computer at the end of each episode.  Could Doogie have been the first blogger?  Just because I was curious and know that you can find pretty much anything on the internet, I googled "Doogie Howser's Journal" and this is what I found.  An actual blog of all of his entries.  Now I don't know if they are completely accurate, but they look about right.  - And I have no idea who had the time or the desire to make a blog from a t.v. show character's musings from 2 decades ago (ouch!  2 decades ago!  I am old!). I had forgotten that all of them were one to two line entries (something I would find next to impossible!).  

...And now, not only has someone taken the time to recreate Doogie's blog, but I have taken the time to look for it and blog about it...Now who is more pathetic?

Today Elias is home sick with the cold that I gave him.  Even though I am sorry that he is sick, I am enjoying having a little alone time with him this afternoon, while Bella is in school.  We just snuggled under his Iron Man blanket after we took a trip to the pharmacy to get him some more medicine.

Holding him, while his chest rattled under my hand reminds me of the little girl I held in Peru.  She was the cook's daughter and she sat with us all morning while her mother worked hard in the kitchen making meals for us and all the children at the church that day.  Her little chest rattled too.  I wondered then if she had any medicine to take for her congestion.  The community where she lives is in the desert and there is a breeze from the ocean that blew the entire time we were there.  As you can see, the mother had her well bundled, but still the air made her breathing sound even more raspy.
I have thought a lot about options this morning.  We all have so many options.  Just this morning, I have had the option:
1. To send Elias to school or not to send him.
2. To put put pants or shorts on Bella for her school day. To put tennis shoes or sandals on her feet.
3. To give the kids oatmeal, instead of eggs or cereal.
4. To use my extra time to read a book or to check my e-mail and facebook.
5. To spend some time reading my Bible - one of the many copies I own - or to do a devotional - one of the many I have on my shelf.

And this is just 5 of the many, maybe even hundred or more options I had this morning.  I wondered how many options Elias and Xiomara have had this morning.  I think about all the people who feel they have no options, no opportunity to make a choice. Thinking of options reminds me of a man named Richmond Wandera, an LDP student who has not only gained more options for his own life through his Compassion sponsorship and LDP training, but is now working to give ministers throughout Uganda options by founding the Pastors Discipleship Network. PDN is equipping pastors throughout Uganda to better lead their congregations.  I have mentioned Richmond before in several posts, but I recently was looking through his Facebook page and again remembered the important work he is doing. I looked through pictures of pastors being given study Bibles.  One of these pastors only had part of a Bible to use and another pastor was using a small new testament, similar to the ones children are given in Sunday school classes all over America.  I thought of the many copies I have of the Bible, both in print and electronic, throughout my house and how little I think of them.  I am not saying that I don't think about what is in the Bible, but I don't think about the option I have to read it wherever I am.  Sadly, I often opt not to read it.  In the book, The Hiding Place, Corrie Ten Boom talks about being sent to the concentration camp, and she prayed that God would allow her to keep her Bible with her.  Miraculously, every woman in the line was searched from head-to-toe, but she was not.  And she was able to smuggle in a small Bible.  Would that be the option of what I would choose to pray for in that situation?  Do I choose the best options?  God always gives us them, everyday.

Guatemala Bloggers

I have been spending so much time the last few days reading the blog posts of those who are on the Compassion blogger trip to Guatemala City.  Just as a fellow member of my team to Peru said, I feel like I am reliving my trip through their posts, except their posts are so much more descriptive and eloquently written. 
I encourage you to read some of their entries, visit http://compassionbloggers.com/guatemala

Shaun Groves isn't just another pretty face

The title is actually a joke about one of his recent blog posts.  He said when it comes to finances, his wife takes care of them and he's a musician, so he just "sits and looks pretty".
But, seriously, Shaun Groves' blog is one that I enjoy reading all the time.  He is currently in Guatemala City, where he is leading a team of bloggers who are on a Compassion trip there.
If you recognize his name, it is because he has been a top-selling Christian music artist, but he now has a lower profile as a songwriter and Compassion representative.  But I believe his impact is not smaller, even if he is no longer the name topping the charts.  He not only writes the blog, but he takes the time to read and respond to the comments left on his entries.  I hope you take the time to read at least his latest entries about his time in Guatemala.

...In Jesus' Name

Okay, I know that I said I had written my last installment about my Peru trip, but...I lied.  I just can't help talking about something that has completely turned my heart upside down.  So, I am just going to admit it now - you might be seeing much more about it in the future.
I have to be truthful and say that last week I think that even though my body was comfortably back in my town in my home with my family, my mind and heart were still in Peru.  I was reliving the hugs, the kisses on my cheeks, the smiles...as well as the heaviness, the heartache, the feeling that I was a voice crying into darkness.  Josh, being the steadfast man he has always been, quietly walked beside me, knowing that I was only hearing half of what was going on around me and able to care about slightly less.  One night, after a long day of battling my heart all day to just get over it, I apologized to him about my absence of mind.  He simply said, "It isn't my job to tell you how to work through your feelings." - I don't think he ever realizes what a gift that is to give to somebody - the gift of unselfish patience (but that is for another blog post).
I have felt such a tug-of-war on my heart.  Am I saying enough?  Am I saying too much? Am I conveying the truth in love?  Am I over-dramatizing things?  Am I sugar-coating things?  Have my internal struggles been disparaging or discouraging?
Then Sunday morning in church, I realized why I am struggling so much.  The message Sunday was simple, yet profound.  The sermon was simply that the gospel message, that Jesus is our salvation, our truth, and our provider, should be our central message.  Christian living is a by-product of our faith in Christ, but it isn't something that is tacked on to our belief - like a bait and switch offer on a bad television infomercial.  "You get the free gift of salvation and all you have to do is to act like a good Christian!"  And Christian living isn't something that should be expected to be done without a relationship with Jesus. God's love for me and for the people in Peru and in countries all over the world should be my motivator.  My hope and joy should be in God's presence being known in the lives of the kids and families involved in Compassion - not just in the receiving countries, but also in the giving countries.  Do you know that Christ died for your sins and that it should make a functional difference in your everyday life, if you know him as your savior? (Thank you Pastor Seth for letting me steal part of your sermon.)  I had to give back over the reigns of the work I do for Compassion and, really, my whole life again Sunday morning.  I have to do that so often.  I can talk about how Compassion is doing what they do all day long, but if I don't remember to tell people why they do what they do, then I am really missing the mark.  Compassion's slogan is "Releasing children from poverty in JESUS' name." and the last part makes all the difference in the world.
So let me tell you a story about Peru, from the (North) American side...Isabella loves to carry books around the house and act like she is reading them, sometimes to herself, sometimes to imaginary others.  Today she was carrying around a Bible and she was saying, "And Jesus tells us to take everything we have and share it with the poor people who don't have as much." - She is only 4 1/2.  I think that even though I had to miss her first day of preschool and it was heart wrenching to leave my family for a week, it was important even for them that I went, because they get it - at least partially.  They are starting to see that loving God and loving others because God first loved us must make a functional difference in our lives.  When I got on the plane to fly to Peru, I prayed, "Lord, even if I don't make it home, please let my family and friends know that my death wasn't in vain and that you have a purpose for everything." But the truth is, every day is a day someone dies.  It doesn't matter if they are going to another country or going across town for work.  If you have never asked Jesus to enter into your heart and life in a way that makes you know that he is your way, truth, and life, don't wait until the next time you have to think about it and don't feel like you can't do it because you just can't live up to the standards of "Christian Living".  When you love God with your whole heart, soul, and mind, He will help you with the "loving your neighbor as yourself".

Pictures of the kids' first days of school

Since I was not home when the kids started school, Josh was in charge of picture duty.  But I wanted to share the pictures because they are just so darn cute.  Josh took off Monday, which was the day Elias started 1st grade and the day of Bella's preschool open house.  He also took off Friday, since it was Isabella's first day of preschool.  To make it extra special for Bella, he took her to have her nails and hair done on her first day.  He is such an awesome daddy and the kids were both well loved and cared for while I was gone.  We are all blessed to have him in our lives!

I gave Elias this plane the day that I left at the airport to remind him that I would be coming back home to him.

He wore this outfit without even having to be asked because I told him before I left that it was one of my favorites and I thought it would be a great outfit for the first day of school.

Now he is a "Bid man on campus" - no longer on the bottom of the totem pole as a kindergartner.

This was before Bella went to her preschool open house.

Leaving for her first day with hair and nails done.

In front of her school.  Daddy also did a great job picking out a cute outfit!

Hamming it up for her impromptu photo shoot.  Any boy who dates her is going to have some high standards to meet to be as good to her as her daddy is!

Pictures (in no particular order)

Josh and I haven't had time to work together on getting pictures on my blog, so I am winging it!  I have put many of the same pictures from facebook on here, but I have also included a few others. They are extremely out of order and I didn't include any of the site-seeing pictures, just because of the haphazard way I put the rest of the pictures on here.  I am not sure if the video will work or not.   I am taking a chance!

All of our team with their Child Development and Leadership Development Sponsored Children.

This is Xiomara, the girl I chose to sponsor while I was there.  This was just a few minutes after we first got to know one another.

This is Elias, the child I have sponsored for almost 3 years, and Xiomara at the amusement park.  Aren't they so cute?

Elias loved the rides!

Saying goodbye.  Bittersweet.

A Compassion Child Survival Program worker going through a development exercise with a child  who is enrolled in the program during a home visit.

This is one of the churches.  The rooms on the top floor have just recently been built for the teens and there is a hydroponic garden in the left corner.

Our welcome at the first Child Development program we visited.  There were boys who met us about 2 blocks away and ran beside the bus to usher us in.  It was so overwhelming and it was difficult not to get emotional.  It almost felt like what entering heaven must be like - even though we won't know everyone, we all share the same love and the same God, so we welcome each other with open hearts and open arms.

These boys were typical for boys their age.  They were sharing inside jokes and jabbing each other with their elbows.  And they could get away with it pretty easily, since I was the only one in the room who had no idea what they were saying!

This was our welcome at the second child development program.  The kids were so excited to be able to pop those balloons toward the end of out visit.  This is the program where several of our team sponsored children the day we visited. 

This is Xiomara and her beautiful, joyful mother Olga and her not so joyful sister Sandra.  Xiomara's older sister is also in the CDSP and has a sponsor.

This is Elias and his father Emanuel.  I really enjoyed getting to meet them both, since we have been sharing letters and I feel like I know them already.

This is Soledad and Elia.  They were our trip leaders from the Compassion Peru office.  They work so hard and spent very long days with us all week.

The staff at one of the churches housing a CDSP.  They disciple our sponsored children every day.  It was so great to be able to talk to them and pray for them.  If you are a sponsor, please remember to pray for the staff workers.  They have a huge responsibility and they have their own families to care for as well.

The staff at another program.  The reason they are wearing different outfits is because some of them work in the Child Survival Program and the others work in the Child Development Sponsorship Program - but they all work together in the same church building and community.  I didn't get a picture of the staff at the third program we visited. 

This is Mapi, one of our translators.  She really helped me deal with my anxious feelings the night before I met my sponsored children and their parents.

This is Clarita and Emanuel, another two translators.  It was so interesting to hear their perspectives on our visits and to see them with the kids.  They are very talented at what they do. 

This is Cecilia.  She and I didn't get to talk much, but she was a lot of fun. (As a side note, I had a wonderful young lady named Francesca who translated for me the day I met my sponsored children and I didn't get a picture with her.  She was really great with the kids though and was a GREAT help at helping communication!)

Another perspective

Jill, a fellow Compassion Advocate who was also on the Peru trip, has an excellent blog with lots of pictures and information.  The address is jillslist.blogspot.com, if you want to check it out.

Random Thoughts about my trip to Peru

This is my last installment about my Peru trip (I know you all may be thinking, "Will it ever end?").  I still need to get pictures up on my blog for non-facebook readers, but my techy husband hasn't finished assisting me with that yet. I decided to just do a quick synopsis of some of my remaining thoughts and observations or random facts I learned: 

About transportation
1. Lima drivers bring the term, "Defensive Driving" to a whole new level.  Drivers don't "pick a lane", as much as they just lay claim to a piece of bare concrete, no matter where it may be on the road.  There are surprisingly few accidents, despite the creative driving, though.
2. My affection for using my horn seems minor compared to the amount of horn blowing that occurs in Lima.  Though I think I would never want to drive on the streets of Lima, I feel somewhat at home with the driver's love of their horns!
3. You have never really ridden a roller coaster until you have ridden on a bus going 50-60 miles an hour down an Andes Mountain with no guard rails and with buses coming up the hill at the same time...For extra excitement, just use the bathroom on said bus during your descent!
4. Pedestrians in Lima are some of the bravest people on earth!
5. If the bus wheels can still roll from the weight of people riding it, then there is still room for a few more!
6. Car seats? They don't need no stinking car seats!
7. You can buy almost anything from a street vendor and they seem completely unaffected by cars and buses barely skimming past them.
8. I will no longer complain about having to get my car inspected to meet emissions requirements.

On food
1. The food in Peru is nothing like I expected it to taste.  The spices they use are so much different than anything I have had and the food is always packed with flavor!
2. My absolute favorite new food that I tried there was Lucama, which is a fruit and is really good mixed with chocolate.
3. Chinese food in Peru, called Chifa, is much better than in America.  The won ton soup I had there puts any I have had in America to shame!
4. I don't know why, but chocolates tasted better there too.
5. I detest diet coke in America, but diet coke in Peru is pretty good.  I learned this because every time I asked for a coke, I was often given a diet.  I don't know if the waiters were just used to most American woman wanting diet cokes, opposed to regular, or if I looked like I needed the diet!  I didn't ask to find out.
6. Inca cola is the drink of choice in Peru.  It is a soda that has a bubble gum taste.  Coke came in but couldn't beat 'em, so it joined them by buying out 51% of the company.
7. I got to eat so many interesting things there that I would never have gotten to eat here, either because it is unavailable or too expensive.  I feel like I earned my Food Network badge last week! lol

On the Compassion programs we visited 

1. The title given to sponsors in Peru would translate to our word for "god father" or "god mother".  I feel that is an appropriate description of our relationship.
2. The children were as curious about us as we were about them.  They would peek around corners to watch us and then hide and giggle when we would catch them looking at us.
3. There were a couple of the kids who brought pictures of their sponsors and asked if we knew them. How I wished I had known them, for their sakes!
4. Seeing the Compassion workers with the kids is really heartwarming.  You can tell that they really love them and they are doing everything they can to help the children.
5. The churches that house Compassion programs really are a light in their communities.
6. I saw children being fed, educated, encouraged, and loved.  Everything I had been told, I watched unfold with my own eyes.
7. The people who work from the Peru country office and the translators who spent their days with us are some of the most genuine, fun, loving, and hard-working people I have ever met.

In general
1. Many of the billboards in Peru had American-looking woman on them.  When I asked a translator why, she said it is because men in Peru are intrigued by American woman.  They feel they are more interesting because they are different.  I told her that the same holds true for American men and their feelings toward Latino women - and that the air-brushed models on billboards really don't reflect the average American woman.  Isn't it funny how even culture-wide, we feel the grass is always greener on the other side?
2. We received some of the best customer service and hospitality.
3. There were distinct differences between the people from each church and community we visited.  Just like in America, region has a lot to do with people's behavior and attitudes.  It is unfortunate when we lump people together and say "People in America are this way" or "People in Peru are like that".
4. The paintings of "The Last Supper" depict Jesus and his disciples eating guinea pig, which is a traditional Peruvian dish. 
5. You never feel more foreign than when you are looking for a potty and you ask, "What is a bathroom?", instead of "Where is the bathroom?".  I am sure you can guess how I know this!
6. I now have greater empathy for the wonderful servers at my favorite Mexican restaurant who spend most of their work days around people who don't speak their language.
7. My allergist told me that the best way I could treat my allergies would be to move to the desert.  He was right.  I have never felt as free from allergy symptoms as I did there. - Unfortunately, as soon as I arrived home, my allergies have decided to seek vengeance on me for leaving them behind!
8. I have now used the bathroom on a bus, on a train, on a plane, and many other nondescript locations, sometimes all in one day and sometimes paying to go.  I no longer understand why I got so bent out of shape about using public bathrooms here!

Home again, Home again,

This is a picture of Jocilyn (I don't know if that is how you spell her name).  I mentioned her in a previous blog.  Her face has been like a snapshot in my mind ever since the moment I met her.

Many have asked me for pictures and about my trip.  I will get pictures posted soon, I promise.  I have been strangely unable to say much about my trip to anyone but my husband.  It is like the feelings and thoughts are still too deep to trust with anyone.  I don't want to be applauded for a job well-done (even though I know the intentions of people's comments are kind, somehow it feels hard to hear), and I don't want the people I met to be to be put into a category or confined to a description that I may give.  I have spent the time since arriving home thinking and feeling, A LOT.  I have kissed and hugged and loved on my family almost more than they can tolerate.  I look around at the things that I allow myself to get stressed about on a daily basis here and could now, frankly, care less about them.  I know that as the days pass, this will change, but right now I just can't care about my house being messy or whether my pantry is stocked or whether I attend the PTO meeting, so that the school knows I care about my son's education and the school at large.  I just can't.

Sara Groves has a song that somewhat describes how I feel today.  It is really all that I can say today.

I Saw What I Saw

By Sara Groves

I saw what I saw and I can't forget it I heard what I heard and I can't go back I know what I know and I can't deny it something on the road, cut me to the soul your pain has changed me your dream inspires your face a memory your hope a fire your courage asks me what I'm afraid of and what I know of love we've done what we've done and we can't erase it we are what we are and it's more than enough we have what we have but it's no substitution something on the road, cut me to the soul chorus I say what I say with no hesitation I have what I have but I'm giving it up I do what I do with deep conviction something on the road, cut me to the soul chorus 2x your courage asks me what I’m afraid of your courage asks me what I am made of your courage asks me what I’m afraid of and what I know of love and what I know of god

Day Five - Child Visit Day

Sorry I have not blogged sooner. We have not had much down time and when we do, I use it to get a sleep, since I missed a lot earlier in the week. My visit with my now two sponsored children and their parents was so wonderful. I have heard that sometimes it can be awkward because of language and cultural differences, so I expected things to be difficult and they were not, so it was better than I expected. Elias (pronounced el-lee-ah-s) was exactly how I thought he would be from his letters. He was quiet at first, but he was so curious about me and the park and really everything. His dad came and I could tell he was really curious to meet me too. It seemed we both had lots of questions we wanted wanted to ask each other and so there was not much quiet time. He brought me a rug that they had gotten specially woven with Elias' name in it and some local candy that is a special treat in his part of Peru. I also got to meet the mother of a little girl I met and Sponsored at the project on Wednesday. I was at first concerned about how the interaction would go, since I have a long relationship with Elias and I have only just met Xiomara (loosely pronounced ci-o-ma-dra,if you are familiar with the Spanish language & you know how to roll you tongue on the rr's.  Her first name is Brenda, but she goes by her middle name.)  But her mother, who was there with her three month old baby was there just radiating with joy and I think it brought her comfort to see the relationship that me and Elias had formed. Xiomarra is a very loving child and just wanted to be hugging, holding hands,and sitting near me all the time. In one of Elias' letters he had mentioned never having marshmallows before after I had mentioned them in a letter about having a campfire. So I brought a bag of marshmallows with me. They were a big hit. None of them had ever had them before and it wasn't long before the bag was half empty. As we sat and talked, Elias was getting antsy to ride the rides. So off we went, with Elias in the lead. He is quite an adventurer and the more rides we rode the more animated he became with me. He has a slight dimple in his cheeks when he smiles big and I saw it a lot while on the rides. Xiomara was more tentative about about the rides, but I was able to coax her onto a few and then she was more comfortable. In the US none of us would think these rides were spectacular, but they all kept saying how nice they were. There was a pool there, but neither children brought suits, but Xiomara's mother asked if they could go see it, because they had never seen one before. When we got over there, the park actually had suits to borrow-something we wouldn't do in America, but the kids didn't mind one bit. So both kids got in the water. Elias had been in a pool, but it had been 4ft deep everywhere, so he never got to play in one. This pool was very shallow and had things that sprayed water and slides, etc. They were so happy. Then we got out and had lunch and talked more. It was so much fun for all of us and Elias was again getting anxious to go see the monkeys (they had a miniature zoo there too. So we went over for him to look. He forgot that I didn't know Spanish and started talking to me excitedly. Ahhh, I wish I knew Spanish. Thankfully, one of our group who does came by and I asked her to translate. Then we gave our gifts. I had thought long and hard about the gifts I wanted to give to Elias and his family and had only just picked up Xiomara's gift the night before at the market. But it didn't matter, they were both thrilled. Xiomara looked at each thing, hugged the doll tight and asked to have it put back in it's box and then she quickly put everything back in the backpack I got her. I asked her mom of she likes having everything organized and together and she emphatically agreed. Xiomara really does remind me of myself at her age! When I was at the market Wednesday, I had made a quick decision to get a soccer ball for Elias, even tough I knew he had gotten one with birthday money I had sent him once. When he saw the ball, he immediately started playing with it. His dad told me that the ball he had gotten before had been popped by a neighborhood dog. It reassuring to see how God provides for these childen beyond my knowledge or
ability. It reminds me again that I am not the provider of these blessings, just the conduit. Our goodbye was bittersweet. We must have hugged, kissed, said thank you to each other and told each other how great the day was over a dozen times. Elias and his family had to take a a 6 hour bus ride back to their home that night and Xiomara about 3. She had thrown up on the way down-the roads are rough and windy-so I hope she made it back better. I know it will be a day that will be in all of our memories for a long time, if not forever.