Home again, Home again,

This is a picture of Jocilyn (I don't know if that is how you spell her name).  I mentioned her in a previous blog.  Her face has been like a snapshot in my mind ever since the moment I met her.

Many have asked me for pictures and about my trip.  I will get pictures posted soon, I promise.  I have been strangely unable to say much about my trip to anyone but my husband.  It is like the feelings and thoughts are still too deep to trust with anyone.  I don't want to be applauded for a job well-done (even though I know the intentions of people's comments are kind, somehow it feels hard to hear), and I don't want the people I met to be to be put into a category or confined to a description that I may give.  I have spent the time since arriving home thinking and feeling, A LOT.  I have kissed and hugged and loved on my family almost more than they can tolerate.  I look around at the things that I allow myself to get stressed about on a daily basis here and could now, frankly, care less about them.  I know that as the days pass, this will change, but right now I just can't care about my house being messy or whether my pantry is stocked or whether I attend the PTO meeting, so that the school knows I care about my son's education and the school at large.  I just can't.

Sara Groves has a song that somewhat describes how I feel today.  It is really all that I can say today.

I Saw What I Saw

By Sara Groves

I saw what I saw and I can't forget it I heard what I heard and I can't go back I know what I know and I can't deny it something on the road, cut me to the soul your pain has changed me your dream inspires your face a memory your hope a fire your courage asks me what I'm afraid of and what I know of love we've done what we've done and we can't erase it we are what we are and it's more than enough we have what we have but it's no substitution something on the road, cut me to the soul chorus I say what I say with no hesitation I have what I have but I'm giving it up I do what I do with deep conviction something on the road, cut me to the soul chorus 2x your courage asks me what I’m afraid of your courage asks me what I am made of your courage asks me what I’m afraid of and what I know of love and what I know of god

Day Five - Child Visit Day

Sorry I have not blogged sooner. We have not had much down time and when we do, I use it to get a sleep, since I missed a lot earlier in the week. My visit with my now two sponsored children and their parents was so wonderful. I have heard that sometimes it can be awkward because of language and cultural differences, so I expected things to be difficult and they were not, so it was better than I expected. Elias (pronounced el-lee-ah-s) was exactly how I thought he would be from his letters. He was quiet at first, but he was so curious about me and the park and really everything. His dad came and I could tell he was really curious to meet me too. It seemed we both had lots of questions we wanted wanted to ask each other and so there was not much quiet time. He brought me a rug that they had gotten specially woven with Elias' name in it and some local candy that is a special treat in his part of Peru. I also got to meet the mother of a little girl I met and Sponsored at the project on Wednesday. I was at first concerned about how the interaction would go, since I have a long relationship with Elias and I have only just met Xiomara (loosely pronounced ci-o-ma-dra,if you are familiar with the Spanish language & you know how to roll you tongue on the rr's.  Her first name is Brenda, but she goes by her middle name.)  But her mother, who was there with her three month old baby was there just radiating with joy and I think it brought her comfort to see the relationship that me and Elias had formed. Xiomarra is a very loving child and just wanted to be hugging, holding hands,and sitting near me all the time. In one of Elias' letters he had mentioned never having marshmallows before after I had mentioned them in a letter about having a campfire. So I brought a bag of marshmallows with me. They were a big hit. None of them had ever had them before and it wasn't long before the bag was half empty. As we sat and talked, Elias was getting antsy to ride the rides. So off we went, with Elias in the lead. He is quite an adventurer and the more rides we rode the more animated he became with me. He has a slight dimple in his cheeks when he smiles big and I saw it a lot while on the rides. Xiomara was more tentative about about the rides, but I was able to coax her onto a few and then she was more comfortable. In the US none of us would think these rides were spectacular, but they all kept saying how nice they were. There was a pool there, but neither children brought suits, but Xiomara's mother asked if they could go see it, because they had never seen one before. When we got over there, the park actually had suits to borrow-something we wouldn't do in America, but the kids didn't mind one bit. So both kids got in the water. Elias had been in a pool, but it had been 4ft deep everywhere, so he never got to play in one. This pool was very shallow and had things that sprayed water and slides, etc. They were so happy. Then we got out and had lunch and talked more. It was so much fun for all of us and Elias was again getting anxious to go see the monkeys (they had a miniature zoo there too. So we went over for him to look. He forgot that I didn't know Spanish and started talking to me excitedly. Ahhh, I wish I knew Spanish. Thankfully, one of our group who does came by and I asked her to translate. Then we gave our gifts. I had thought long and hard about the gifts I wanted to give to Elias and his family and had only just picked up Xiomara's gift the night before at the market. But it didn't matter, they were both thrilled. Xiomara looked at each thing, hugged the doll tight and asked to have it put back in it's box and then she quickly put everything back in the backpack I got her. I asked her mom of she likes having everything organized and together and she emphatically agreed. Xiomara really does remind me of myself at her age! When I was at the market Wednesday, I had made a quick decision to get a soccer ball for Elias, even tough I knew he had gotten one with birthday money I had sent him once. When he saw the ball, he immediately started playing with it. His dad told me that the ball he had gotten before had been popped by a neighborhood dog. It reassuring to see how God provides for these childen beyond my knowledge or
ability. It reminds me again that I am not the provider of these blessings, just the conduit. Our goodbye was bittersweet. We must have hugged, kissed, said thank you to each other and told each other how great the day was over a dozen times. Elias and his family had to take a a 6 hour bus ride back to their home that night and Xiomara about 3. She had thrown up on the way down-the roads are rough and windy-so I hope she made it back better. I know it will be a day that will be in all of our memories for a long time, if not forever.

Morning- Day Four

 I woke up this morning with renewed energy, despite our long, active days.  I slept peacefully last night, especially if you consider how excited I am for this day.  Today we will meet our sponsored children and take them to a amusement park and pool. Probably all the children have never visited either and most of their parents haven't either. The father of my sponsored child asked if he could join his wife and son.  Normally it is just one parent escort.  I was thrilled.  That was one of my prayers, that I could meet both his parents.

I also get to meet the mother of Brenda, the little girl I sponsored yesterday. I have so much I would like to tell Elias and his parents, but I know because of translation time and that now I will be sharing my time with two families, I won't be able to say it all.  I just wish Josh and the kids could be with me!  Maybe someday we will come back as a family to visit both the kids. The sponsored children love to interact with us and I feel like these visits are happy times for all the kids, but I can see how much they all want to know their sponsors.

I just can't emphasize enough: If you are a sponsor - write, write, write!  Even if they don't always respond, they want your letters.  Many kids go to school for half the day, come to the Compassion program for half the day and then go home to help their families and do their school work.  Your letters are a gift to them.  And send pictures - of where you live, of yourself, your family members, pets, anything.  They love pictures.   They will go out of their way to see pictures and get in pictures because and they want to see pictures of you even more. I may have been disappointed in myself and the state of our world that creates poverty circumstances during this trip, but I have not once been disappointed with what I have seen Compassion and their partner churches doing here.  They truly are a sanctuary in every sense of the word and the way they manage each project according to the needs of the people around them, yet with the utmost care and efficiency, is even more impressive than I could have imagined.

Please, please, please, consider visiting your child.  I can't say it is not emotional, but it is very important to both you and your child and it will open your heart to your child ten fold, and probably open your child's heart as well.  I will never regret my decision to come here, even though I miss my family, had to miss the kids first days of school, and have riden a wave of emotion, I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Day Three

This trip has sent me on a realm of emotions.  I have felt so many emotions so vividly, sometimes with only a minute separating them. 

By nature,  I am a person who seeks out justice, so to see the injustices that society places on the people  and especially the children, it just makes me want to stand up and scream at the top of my lungs that it just isn't right.  But then I see the smiles of these children and the hard work of the teenagers and I know that righting the wrong is what is going on in each of their lives.


We went on a home visit to a family who had two kids who went to the Child Development Program.  The dad greeted us warmly at the door and told us that we are always welcome at his home.  We visited with him and we learned that he was out of work, but had a job interview that afternoon, but he wanted to meet us, so he was glad he could be there.  Their house was so well-kept and the children were so well-behaved.  The mother made dresses.  There was such a peacefulness about them and their home.  They went on to say that they had heard about the Compassion program while attending the church.  The man had done a lot of work to their home, including installing a bathroom with septic and cementing the dirt floors.  It was great work and we told him so and he looked so pleased with the complement and he said he takes great care to be the head of the household, even though he isn´t working and it shows.

He reminded me so much of my father, in his looks, mannerisms, pride in his work and family, that it brought tears to my eyes and I didn´t make it out of their house before they started to fall.  I decided to sponsor another child at the program that we were visiting today.  Our other sponsored child, Elias, corresponds with our son, Elias, a lot, so we wanted to have a child for Isabella to form a relationship with.  When I met her, I gave her a sucker and she thought it was the most interesting object in the world.  The visit lasted for a while, but I could tell that she is a child with a lot of spunk!  I again wished with all my heart for my Spanish to be better! 

The group lead VBS in the afternoon and then we headed back.  I was so overwhelmed, I just sat and watched the scenery go by, deciding to process the day now versus later.  It was a good choice for me.
The last thing we did is have dinner with 5 LDP students.  These young adults are so talented and smart.  Cindi, who sat at our table was so excited to get to know us and by the end of the evening, we were all hugging and laughing like friends, because we are. These students are the ones who will really have awesome impact on their communities and I can't think of better choices than them and I am so glad it was the last thing we did for the evening.  This doesn´t do the day justice, but I have to get to bed.

The official Compassion blog had a blog about visiting your child that I felt was a good complement to my meager post if you would like to check it out.

Didn't Sleep Well

I didn't sleep well last night. I was up thinking all the thoughts that I didn't get to think during the day. I have now seen first-hand how far the line is between what we have and "enough" (the basic necessities of life that includes love and belonging)?  I rushed to buy the mother's hand crafts yesterday.  Did they feel that they really were earning an honest wage or did they feel like Americans who had extra soles in their pockets just wanted to give it to them because they could?  I know our hearts were all in the right place, but did that get translated properly?

I think this partially answers the question I get asked all the time, "Why don't you help the people in America who need it?"  My answer is that I should and I am or at least I try to.  But helping people near me is more automatic-it is responsive to people and situations I encounter every day.  I understand more how to care for those around me, because I am in their environment.  That is why it is a good thing that the hard-working people who live here in Peru are the ones who are better equipped to lead the projects, because they understand the people, their environment, and what needs to be done. The love they share comes from mutual understanding and with that understanding trust is formed. It really is an amazing thing to watch the kids with the workers.  It feels almost like you are visiting a home with lots of relatives!

I think sometimes people who are from influential countries think that those who live in poverty are two sets of people: First, saints who are especially equipped by God with the ability to withstand conditions that those in the developed world can't possess.  Second, lazy charity seekers who don't want to make the effort to improve themselves. There may be some of the billions in poverty who fit into these categories, but it is by far the rule.  When I was growing up and when I was newly married, we lived on the low end of the median income.  Now we live on the higher end.  I have more now than I ever thought I could have and don't necessarily desire to have it all taken away, but if it was, would I not still be the same person inside? Could I not find that same ability I once had to be comfortable with having enough.  Honestly, after being on both sides, I think having enough versus plenty is sometimes less complicated. There are less choices to make, less options, less ability for greed to develop.

I once heard an LDP student say that one of the hardest things to adjust to when he came to America for study was the amount of options Americans have.  He related a story about buying toothpaste & being so overwhelmed by the choices, he just left the store.  I also once asked a friend who is a missionary while they were on furlough what was most surprising about how she felt about America when they returned.  She said that she had forgotten about how prevalent the proliferation that anyone can be anything - the "American dream". She said that is not encouraged in their ministry country and that paths are set for people before their even old enough to really think about what they want.  We are given so much in America, but it can all be taken away so quickly, but would it really be always a negative if it were?  Just as a side note, the pastor of the church spoke to us at the program we visited Monday and said they have planted two churches in the outer provinces of Lima, one of which is completely lead by formerly sponsored children who are now adults.  It is amazing to see how one act of giving provides for another, and so on.  Planting churches is not part of Compassion's ministry, it is just the fruit of the labor shared by the sponsors, church staff, and Compassion staff.

We visit another program today.  I decided I am going to sponsor a little girl from there who has yet to be sponsored and I will get to meet her today.  I know it will again be an emotional day and I will probably have more thoughts to think, but I know coming here and allowing God to teach me through these experiences was one of the best decisions I have ever made.  I can't wait to post pictures.  I may try to figure that out if we get back early enough.

Day Two

I started the morning off by throwing up...just a little, but enough to tell me I need to cut back on partaking so much of the Peruvian spicy food.  It was not travel sickness, just diet imbalance.  I ate a very mild breakfast and then we headed out to a Child Survival Program and Child Development Program that is located in the desert region, one hour from Lima.

We were greeted with preschoolers dressed in festive costumes.  People who live in the desert mountain region love color, because there land is all dark gray sand.  Their entire community, which hold over 1 million people is essentially a squatter community and most of the houses are made from materials as they can find or afford them. The air there is very cool and there is a breeze from the ocean always blowing.  Since the area is so steep and sandy we had to park and walk to the student center.

A little girl named Jocilyn greeted us as soon as we got there and walked with us up the hill smiling and wanting hugs (which we were all happy to give).  I then handed her a silly band and she got the biggest smile and started skipping up the hill. Then she stopped and said, "Uno photo" and I figured out she wanted her picture with me.  She then ran on up the hill.  When we neared the top, she emerged from her little home carrying her little sister, who was almost as big as her.  When she got to me, I found out her sister was Annabella and she said, "Uno mas photo" and she quickly grabbed the camera, so she could look at the picture we took of her.  She hung around the entire day.  She is one of 10 children and longs to be at the student center, but the mother has unfortunately chosen not to let her be registered.  The church continues to love on her when she comes around, but she is not able to enjoy the program like the other kids do.

We met the staff and the children and then we divided and went on a visit to a mother and her baby who are part of the child survival program.  We had to climb an extremely high hill that was made of fine silty sand. When we reached the top, Julie and Gabriel met us at the door.  She welcomed us so lovingly and the Compassion staff member from the local church like she was family.  There is so much I would like to say about our visit with her, but my heart went out to her so much because she has to stay home with her children and her 10 year old cousin, who she also cares for while her husband and aunt work every day of the week.  Her husband leaves at 8 am and doesn't return until 10 pm, because he stays at the market all day to be available to unload trucks, help people to their taxis or buses with goods purchased, etc.

We then served lunch to the children and got to spend the rest of the day talking to them, asking questions, letting them ask us questions, and laughing at all the poor Español being spoken!  There was one girl who knew several English words.  She was so bright and personable.  When we asked them questions, she said her sponsor never wrote to her.  It made me so sad, because she seemed like a girl who would really thrive and possible be an LDP student.  I asked if I could be a correspondent with her.  Ian, our trip leader, is going to check into it.  We got to see the hydroponics garden that the teenagers are learning to grow, so they can make an income raising and selling vegetables.  They also learn to do silk screening, to make shirts and other clothing and the girls make other handicrafts.  The mothers of the CSP program also make handicrafts and we were able to buy some things they made.  I bought a picture frame that has shells and sand decoupage on it.  So I got to take home a little bit of the Pacific Ocean! I have again been hugged and have held so many kids and everything I have known about Compassion and the awesome church partners we have here, I am seeing with my own eyes.

I have so many faces swimming in my mind and we have another center to visit tomorrow.  My heart is so full of emotion right now, I feel choked most of the time from it and I feel like a tear and a smile is always intermixed.  I do not feel sorry for the people I am seeing.  They are so much like me in all the fundamental ways - the way they love, interact, doubt, hope.  They are not here for us to pat on the head and walk away feeling pleased with our attention to them.  They are people who want people to know them and hope with them and care that they are on this little piece of earth called Peru, which is what we all want really.

The boys remind me of boys and the girls like the girls I would meet anywhere. They pick on one another, tell inside jokes, and drive their teachers crazy with chattering. I feel sorry for myself that I require so much to be happy and feel safe and, yet I often am left dissatisfied.  When we walked out of the church after spending the day in the church building, which is one of the few solid structures in the community, both physically and emotionally for the children, it felt like we were leaving a sanctuary where we truly had forgotten about the trash, sickly dogs, and harsh elements outside.

Day One Update

We didn´t get in until 2:30 Peru time, 3:30 our time because of weather delays in Miami, so I am exhausted, but wanted to send an update.
We visited our first child development sponsorship center today for church services. They greeted us so lovingly - singing, confetti, balloons, whistles, etc. - and the kids! Oh, I can´t tell you how many kisses on my cheeks I received today or how many genuine hugs. I got so emotional at how unworthy we were to receive such a grand reception.

We sat through their youth service, which is completely lead by the high schoolers for the children, before they have Sunday school. They had singing, a sermon, human videos, dancing. The teenagers really touched my heart, because I see their lives in the lives of the teens we work with. Even though it is a different culture, we are all so the same.

The little boys were joking with one another, the little girls were using their noisemakers and had to be quieted during the sermon. My first young friend I made was Marco who was 8. I wish my Spanish was better. I get frustrated not being to communicate without a translator. The kids come up to me and just start talking a mile a minute! I must have said "No Entiendo" (I don´t understand) 25 times! But a smile and a hug goes a long way with my broken (very broken) Spanish. We left and were told that we had to stop waving because the kids would just keep running after the bus and it would not be safe. It has been an emotional day. I feel like I have to fight back tears even thinking of it now. It is a good thing that the Peruvians are very comfortable with hugs and other displays of affection, because that was the only way we could communicate and we all wanted to tell them just how much they all meant to us.

We also got to meet all the staff. They are all such dedicated workers and they were so loving as well. One of the advocates ended up sponsoring a boy there today, even though she has another child at another project she will meet later in the week. He was able to sit on her lap the rest of the morning and the sweetness of the moment with them matched permeated the group.

We then went and toured the city and the Catacombs and the St. Francis monastery and Basilica, ending at the "Garden of Love" on the Pacific Ocean and then a market place. We only had a half hour and I was freezing and between bartering and figuring out the exchange rate, etc., all I ended up getting was an Alpaca sweater. We are supposed to be able to go back to the market on another day. If I don´t get the kids something, they won´t be very happy. It is just so hard to choose and we always have to travel in pairs, which slows each of us down. And we have eaten - way too much. Peruvians show love through food and we have felt much love. It is still tricky knowing what is okay and what is not. So far, none of us have gotten sick.

There are so many other things I want to talk about, but we will soon meet to put gift packages together for the programs we will visit in the next few days. Please keep us in your prayers. I am tired and mentally fried, but I definitely made the right decision coming. BUT, we are supposed to try to control our emotions when we meet our sponsored children, so we don´t freak them out. With as emotional as I got today, I think that will be next to impossible for me - so please pray for a miracle! Jill, a team member, has the same problem, though, so I am not alone.

Wedding pictures, finally!

There is only about 48 hours left until I board a plane for Peru.  I stayed up until 3:30 am packing.  I think I am pretty much done, except for last minute things I have to stick in.  It is amazing how much you can fit in a duffel bag, if you pack it right!
I recorded a few short videos for the kids - a couple of me reading, a couple of me singing, and a few just general messages to the kids.  (I hope that all evidence will be quickly destroyed upon my return! - because not only was I singing, I was already in my pjs with my hair in a ponytail on top of my head. Yikes!)  When I started the one to tell the kids I hoped they had a good first day of school, I started getting teary-eyed and had to take a breather and try again.  I am sure the kids will say that I am using my "crying voice" during those messages!
I realized last night that I didn't post pictures of the kids in the wedding like I had said I would in a previous blog.  So here are a few for your enjoyment.  I have looked at them over and over.  I just love seeing them look so handsome and beautiful!  If you have seen them on Facebook, these are the same as there.  The first one is my absolute favorite - Bella watching all the "Princesses", as she called them.

Only one more week!

It is only one week until I go to Peru.  It is feeling more real by the day.  I got my itinerary book and my international flight tickets by Fed Ex a few days ago and I have already began to pack the gifts and supplies for Elias and his family and the programs where we will be.  We are also having back-and-forth communication to work on preparing to lead a Vacation Bible School there one day and to begin making the gift packets for the child survival programs and child sponsorship programs, etc.  I am excited and terrified at the same time!  I have premonitions of my plane going down in flames, but I get like that every time I have to fly somewhere.  There has never been a plane accident in the Compassion's history of doing tours (which is amazing to think about, since people are flying for Compassion related reasons almost every day of the year), so I am praying that God's protection will be over us, as it has in the past.  I told Josh last night that I feel that eventually Compassion's number has to be up, for as many times as they have trips every year, and it might be my trip!  Josh just shook his head and sighed.
Since I will be gone on the kids first week of school, I have been in hyper mode trying to get the house organized.  I have bought more storage bins and "closet solutions" in the last week than I have in 3 years!  I just want everything to be in order, so that it will be as easy as possible to have things run smoothly when I am gone.  I told Josh that I feel like I am nesting and I am not even pregnant.  I keep thinking of all these last minute things I need to do or buy, even though I have all the kids' clothes purchased and the majority of the supplies I know they'll need.  Josh assures me that the stores will indeed be open while I am gone!  I realized the other day that Josh will have to fill out our emergency contact information sheets.  I told him I would call the school and see if I could get them early.  He just laughed and said he thought that he would be able to handle it.  I really don't think he is incapable.  I know it is because I want to know that it has been done.  It is a loose end I feel like I am leaving.  I am so glad that I have met and spoken to Isabella's preschool teacher and that I will be able to go to Elias' open house and find out who his teacher is before I leave.  It makes me feel a little less disconnected. 
Every time Josh and/or I have had a major trip, change, event, etc. about to take place, something always breaks or happens that is unexpected and throws a momentary wrench in things.  Maybe it happens to everyone.  So I am not surprised that it happened this time, actually I was almost waiting for it, and I hope it is the only thing unexpected that happens. But last night, the kids were in the basement playing while I was making dinner.  I heard them banging on something repeatedly and laughing.  I yelled down for them to stop the banging and went on with dinner preparations, just glad that they weren't fighting.  A couple hours later, I went down to get the drill (to put together yet another storage unit) and the floor was wet.  The kids had busted the elbow on water outtake pipe.  Long story short, it is fixed now and the kids are not allowed to play video games for two days.  Josh and I tried to think of a more creative or appropriate punishment, but we could think of none that was fitting for the crime. 
Several people have asked if there was anything they could do to help us in regards to my trip.  So here is a list of things that you can do to help us:
1. Pray for the kids - that they will have a great, smooth transition into school, that they won't miss me too much, and that they will stay healthy while I am gone.
2. Pray for Josh - that he can balance being a single parent and his job for the week and that he can sleep peacefully, not miss me too much, and not worry about me.
3. Pray for me - for safe travels, that I will mesh quickly with my team I am traveling with, that my visit with Elias and his family member(s) will go well, and that I will be able to transcend the language barrier to communicate how much I love the people I will meet, that I stay healthy, and don't miss home so much that I can't enjoy my time there.
4. I have bought a lot of supplies for the Compassion Sponsorship Programs, but then found out that we can also bring items for the Child Survival Program.  If you would feel compelled to donate any maternity, prenatal, or baby items, I would love to deliver them for you.  If you would like, you could enclose your picture and a note.  I have limited space, so small items like clothes, receiving blankets, pacifiers, etc. may be better than bulky items like diapers or bedding.  Also, if you would like to offer supplies to the child sponsorship programs, they take normal school supplies like crayons, scissors, construction paper, markers, pencils, etc..  If you want to donate anything, it would be great to have it by this Sunday or Monday, to make sure I can get it all packed.
5. Pray also that all of our teams luggage makes it to Peru with us, so that we will have all of these gifts to give and all of the materials to lead the VBS program.
6. Take care of and love on my family while I am gone!
7. Pray that we can get last minute details arranged.  Among others, we are still trying to determine the best option for me to get to and from Pittsburgh airport (me driving and paying to park, versus getting a sitter and having Josh take me and pick me up).  There are pros and cons of both.    It would be so much easier if the kids didn't have school, particularly because my plane is not due to land until 9:30 p.m. on Sunday, August 29.  


I want to thank you in advance for praying for me.  And I hope to give you all a recap of my Peruvian adventures!

Last days of Summer

I only have a week and a half until I board a plane to Peru!  AND there is only a week and a half until school starts! AHHH!!!  There is just not enough time.  I have so much to do in the next week and a half and I also want to spend time with Josh, the kids, and friends trying to eek out the last moments of summer - going to the pool, grilling out, play dates, sleepovers, etc..  Josh tells me not to worry about preparing too much for the kids to go to school, but I am used to being the supervisor of the house and overseer of all things school-related and it makes me anxious not to know if everything has been taken care of here while I am away.  Josh is not one to enlist other's help too much, so he has taken most of the week I am gone off from work.  I tried to talk him into letting me find more people to help, but I think he wants to be with the kids, since I can't be.  He is a great dad, so I am sure they will all be fine.  

My biggest struggle with packing is that I am trying to figure out how to pack gifts for my sponsored child,  his family, the church that facilitates his program, and a friend's sponsored child (that I am SO happy to be able to deliver for them!), without having to pay to check an almost empty suitcase on the way back or letting the things get crushed in a collapsible bag.  I am sure I will be getting souvenirs there, but I don't think it will be an entire suitcase worth, so I am probably going to use a collapsible bag and just pack my clothes in it until I get there, then I will rearrange everything to give the gifts once I arrive - hopefully with all of my bags!  I have always been a heavy packer.  I always want to prepare for the unexpected, so trying to pack for a trip that I don't really know what to expect is making me crazy!  It is hard to believe that in three weeks I will be back on American soil and that I will have met Elias, my sponsored child, and my long awaited trip will be something I have already done.  I hope to post updates from the hotel while I am in Peru, so you will hopefully get a current report of how my trip is going.

Not a Pest!

So, I cracked open "Ramona the Pest" and read the first chapter to the kids.  I received for my efforts a, "This book is boring!" exclamation from Elias...but he still sat and listened to the entire chapter. 
But on the first page of the book, before the title page or first chapter, I found these words written in my childish print, "Not a pest" and then my signature in my sloppy cursive.  Then as I was reading through the chapter I read these words, "Great big noisy fusses were often necessary when a girl was the youngest member of the family and the youngest person on her block." - Now, I was the youngest in my family and the youngest in my neighborhood.  I don't remember having "great big noisy fusses" much, but maybe I hoped I could have more when I was a kid.  Maybe that is why little Ramona, as flawed as she was, has a special place in my heart. 

Reading is Fundamental!

I have been reading chidren's books the last couple weeks.  Not just any children's books - old children's books.  I am not talking about the picture books I read to Bella and Elias, but chapter books that are geared for 4th and 5th graders - and, yes, I am reading them to myself and for myself.  I don't know how it started or which one I read first. I think that seeing the movie poster for "Ramona and Beezus" when I was in the theater seeing "Toy Story 3" may have triggered it, but I can't be sure.  Reading these books are quick & easy reads, innocent, and have enjoyable characters.  But they also take me back to my childhood.  I read so much as a child.  I would spend many days with my nose in a book from morning until night, often not even taking the time to turn on a light when dusk came.  I often was told that I was going to go blind from reading in the dark.  I even remember pouring cereal or a drink while still attempting to read - often to my mother's aggravation!  When Josh and I were in Flatwoods over the weekend, I picked up "The Boxcar Children" off of a $1 rack at the book outlet. Now, "The Boxcar Children" was my favorite series when I was in elementary school.  I even remember where they were kept in my elementary school library.  I read the book in a day and wondered if I had cared about the minor loopholes in the story when I was a kid.  But the characters were still as enjoyable and their adventure just as exciting, and I can't wait until my kids are old enough to read it themselves.
I went to see "Ramona and Beezus" Sunday.  And it was the most heartwarming and wholesome movie I have seen in a LONG time.  I think it stayed in the spirit of the books, though parts of the plot were elaborated and updated to make a movie out of the short stories for our day and age. I have kept some of my books from when I was a child.  I just kept my favorites and "Ramona the Pest" and "Beezus and Ramona" are two of them.  I got "Ramona the Pest" in the R.I.F. (Reading is Fundamental) program, that provided each child with one free book at every book fair.  I read that book so many times!  I never had very many new books when I was a kid, so I always savored them when I got one.  And I think I thought Ramona (in her own bratty way) was a hero. "Beezus and Ramona" came from a library sale or a yard sale, I can't remember which.  I went down and pulled them out of the tote in the basement. The pages are yellow and the covers are tattered, but I get a little excited just looking at them.  I think they might be the next on my reading list!  (If you'd like to borrow them, just let me know! I am sure you are all envious!)