Lord Move, Or Move Me

The past few weeks have been full of...adventure!  I have to call it adventure because to type what I really think about it might make me begin to cry! 
Last Friday, things were looking up.  I was allowed to be out of my cast and off my crutches.  Josh was coming home the next day.  The basement had stayed dry while Josh was away and the smell from the last flooding had dissipated. I had friends helping me all week and the kids and I had fared Josh being gone way better than I could have even hoped. I was feeling great. 
Then Saturday, the more I walked on my foot, the more it hurt. It was bothersome, but I shoved it to the back of my mind.  Josh landed safely at the airport only 40 minutes late, just around 11 p.m..  But just before we got home, it started to downpour.  Minutes after walking in the door at 1 a.m., the water started flooding into our basement, like some levy had been switched.  It was coming in everywhere.  We couldn't grab enough towels to catch it all.  We would think we stopped it in one place and it would come in another.  By 3 a.m., we decided that it was futile to try to stop it any more.  Plus, the downpours had stopped, so it had slowed its progression across our floor.  We were both exhausted and my foot was so purple and swollen, that the ace bandage was beginning to cut the circulation off to my toes.  So we went to bed.
Sunday, we sucked up a little more water, but decided that it was more important for Josh to spend time with the kids than working on the basement.  We weren't even sure what we were going to do and we felt like zombies after only 4 hours of sleep. But as the day progressed, my foot hurt more and more. 
Yesterday morning I spent 3 hours at the urgent care treatment center, while Josh stayed home and did laundry and unpacked and prepared to go grocery shopping.  I found out that I have an avulsion fracture in the top of my foot and that it was missed on the original x-ray.  (An avulsion fracture is when a tendon tears away from the bone and it takes a small piece of bone with it.)  So now I have to go back in my air cast, back on crutches and stay off of it for 2 more weeks!  That is not what I wanted to hear!  Especially when my basement smells like a swamp and Josh is playing Mr. Mom at a time when it would be better for him to be Mr. Handyman. 
And, I know that Josh is probably dealing with culture readjustment.  He was so patient and gentle with me while I went through that after returning from Peru last year and I feel bad that I can't offer him the same right now.  
So, this is part of the great adventure.  I know that this is far from the worst thing that could happen to us.  But in the back of my mind, fear grips me.  I think, "What if my foot doesn't heal right?  What if I can never walk on it right again?  What if we can never get the water problems in the basement taken care of?  What if mold grows and takes over our house and we have to move out and the house will be unsellable?  What if this wears on our marriage or on our family life to a point that it creates cracks that could turn into ravines later? What if...? What if...? What if...?"
I also wonder where the line is drawn between expressing ones feelings and complaining?  Where the line is drawn between taking care of myself when I am hurt and becoming too concerned to the point of absurdity. 
My grandmother was a bit of a hypochondriac and a complainer, so we never knew when to be truly concerned for her. My dad is stubborn and never took care of himself when it was necessary, so a lot of the injuries his body received never got proper care and treatment and have caused long term effects.  So, it is hard to know where the line between the two are.  How do we graciously accept concern and help from others without being a mooch or a chronic complainer?  Where is the line between being too enveloped in taking care of our stuff and not caring enough about being good stewards of the things we own?

There is a song from FFH that I always sing to myself when I feel like I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I know that we all have times like this when life seems to suffocate us, so I decided to share the song here.  If you'd like to hear the song you can go here.

Lord Move, or Move Me by FFH


I can't find the words to pray
I'm a little down today
Can you help me?
Can you hold me?
I feel like a million miles away
And I don't know what to say
Can you hear me anyway?
What I need is for you to reach out your hand
You have taught me
No matter what you'd understand

CHORUS:

Lord move in a way, that I've never seen before
Cause there's a mountain in the way and a lock on the door
I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore
So Lord move (move), or move me.


I've look every where to find
A simple peace of mind
I can't find nothing on my own
So I got to leave myself behind
Take up this cross of mine
Give away everything I hold onto

Lord I know the only way is through this
Lord I know I need you to help me do this

CHORUS

Lord move in a way, that I've never seen before
Cause there's a mountain in the way and a lock on the door
I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore
So Lord move (move), or move me.

Out of this place of complacency
To a place of fellowship with thee
Cause I am weak but Lord you are so strong
And you know it's been way too long (been way too long)

Lord move in the way, that I've never seen before
Cause there's a mountain in the way and I'll knock on the door
I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore
So Lord move (move)...

CHORUS