Gerunds? We don't need know stinkin' gerunds!

I love writing and reading.  I have even taught English grammar and composition.  I love words and language.

But there are certain rules or word usages that I'll never remember without going back to to edit or using a reference of some sort to refresh my memory when I use them.

Here are some that get me every time:

1. When to use affect and effect.  I know generally that the effect is the result and affect is the action of being affected by something.  But I think it is tricky and really unnecessary to have two different words, especially since everyone uses them wrong anyway!

2. Gerunds.  First of all, can there be a more awkward word to describe a part of grammar?  You think gerunds are easy, because you just add -ing to a verb to make it a noun, right?  Well, just like everything in English grammar, the rule has exceptions.  Why do we always make exceptions?  Why be so wishy-washy with our rules?

3. Words with two many vowels or not spelled how they sound.  There are many that I have mastered - like that the "f" sound at the end of enough is a "gh" or that I need to tack a "k" and "w" on to the verb "to know".  But words like nuisance or conscience get me every time - I have to do a mental exercise to remember which vowels go where!  I understand that many of these vowel-filled words are ones we've adopted from foreign languages.  But we have changed other words to Americanize them, why not these?  In our day and age of auto correct and google suggestion, the next generation will never be able to learn these words anyway, so lets just drop a few letters and make it easier on everyone!

4. Ending with a preposition.  I know this is wrong and I correct myself most of the time in my writing, but it is a bad habit of mine. But when I talk I constantly end my sentences with prepositions, so it naturally happens when I write as well.  I always have to go back and rearrange my sentences.  How frustrating!

5. Commas.  I love commas, and know I overuse them, and I just can't stop, it is a bad habit, if you see me overusing them, please tell me.

Now, on the flip side of my annoyance with my own grammar or spelling foibles (I just spelled foibles wrong, but auto correct saved my day again!), I have pet peeves about other misuses of words or grammar.

One is when people use the wrong word or an apostrophe incorrectly on a sign or a product package.  For example, when it says, "We will see you their!" or when it says, "New product's coming soon."  Using the wrong form of there or misplacing an apostrophe on an email is one thing, but you would think that someone would catch a mistake before using it to advertise a business.  But I think everyone falls prey to these mistakes, so maybe I need to have more grace.  There have been times that a sign has been so bad, I have been tempted to go in to tell the business.  U.S. Cellular had a sign that had a big boo-boo, and it took all I had to keep my mouth shut when I went in one day for service!

And I have already had a blog post about unnecessary quotation marks. I could go to unnecessaryquotes.com every day and still laugh until I had tears in my eyes.  Every time I am in a store and see unnecessary quotes, it makes me chuckle.  I was at a dollar store recently and almost every sign had quotation marks on it.  I could barely contain my amusement!

Are there grammar rules or spelling that frustrate you?


*I have to clarify that the mistakes in my title and commentary about commas were clearly for dramatic effect.  Grammar or spelling mistakes elsewhere were completely accidental.