Sorry about the depressing post yesterday. It was one of those days when I had too much on my mind. Thanks for those who left comments. They were encouraging.
Now on to bigger and better things.
Yesterday was the last night of youth for this school year. Last summer we didn't take a break over the summer, so this will be the first time in almost 2 years that we will not have a weekly meeting at our house. Josh and I really struggled with the decision to break over the summer for two reasons: First, high school students have more free time in the summers, so there is more opportunity to spend time with them. Second, we don't want any youth who really needs the support of the group to not have a place to go.
But after much prayer and deliberation, we decided that it was in everyone's best interests for us to take a break. Josh and I really need a time to rest and recollect our thoughts and goals for the group and the youth, who all have many plans for the summer, will not feel as much pressure as they do during the school year, which will give them rest as well. We are praying that God will provide us with renewal and direction over the coming months (and possibly some other adult leaders who may be interested to come and help on a regular basis would be great too!).
But last night, we played a game called "Bigger and Better". The premise of the game is that each group gets an item (we gave them pencils) and they have to go door-to-door and ask for an item that is bigger and better. The only rules are that no item can be returned to the original owner, the team has to accept whatever the giver deems is bigger and better, and the team can return at any point during the allotted time if they feel that the item they've received is by far better than anything the other team(s) can get.
Well, our team had scored a Boyd's bear - with the tags still attached, I might add - at the second house. We thought we were really on the upward move, destined to win. Then at the third house, the owner came out with a Better Homes and Garden magazine - not what we would consider bigger or better. We ended up dashing to the house with less than a minute to spare with only a tattered book to show for our 30-minute effort and lost to the other team who had brought back some very large and loud wind chimes. But it was just a reminder that value is in the eye of the beholder. I think so many times, I put value on things that don't deserve it.
The following are just three things I have misplaced value on in the past (even the very recent past):
1. A spotless house. Before I had kids, I would clean like I was going to be subjected to a government health inspection. I would clean things that people never clean or would never know wasn't clean if I didn't do it and probably wasn't really all that dirty anyway. Since having kids, I have had to use the "clean as I go" technique - where when I see something is dirty, I clean it when I have a free moment. Josh has caught me on more than one occasion with a toilet brush in my hand when I am supposed to be in the bathroom getting ready to go somewhere. Sometimes my free moments are actually more like seconds and Josh doesn't always understand my techniques! I have also perfected "the appearance of clean" technique. Even though it works, it still drives me crazy.
2. The appearance of complete control of myself and world around me. I don't think there is any secret to why this doesn't work.
3. Trying to be everything to everyone. It not only leaves me exhausted and discouraged, but it isn't even as beneficial to the other person as it may seem.
I hope that I can realign my thinking this summer and be reminded, yet again, of what God considers bigger and better.
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