Too Much of a Good Thing

Tonight I am feeling stretched too thin and I am just plain weary.  I really need some quiet, not from my surroundings, but in my heart.  I have such a tendency to overdo - I commit to so much because they are all good things.  But I am definitely feeling the phrase "Too much of a good thing".  What is worst, is that I know that by stretching myself thin, no individual thing is getting my direct and best attention - so everything is suffering because of it.  I feel like I am running a marathon and this last month has been like the home stretch.  I can see summer as the finish line - a time when things are supposedly going to slow. - Elias will be out of school (which I am REALLY looking forward to), small group and youth will be on a semi-sabbatical (which I will miss, but I know that the extra time will refresh us all), and there will be no evening sports commitments.  Bella stopped taking naps in the beginning of the winter.  That used to be my quiet time.  The time when I would sit down with my Bible, my journal, and silence.  Since she has stopped taking naps, my time with God has been reduced to catching verses read through droopy eyelids just before bed, after I set out the clothes, pack the lunches, review my "to do" list, make a new list for the next day, etc.  It isn't about my schedule as much as it is about me.  I make choices every day to participate in activities that are depleting and not renewing; to be "plugged in" too much to the world around me and yet somehow still distant.  There is really no words that I can use to really describe what I am feeling and  I have no bits of insight into where I am going to go from here.  I think I need your prayers.  I am not feeling depressed or defeated, but I know when something is in need of repair and that is me right now. 


From This One Place by Sara Groves

I was about to give up and that's no lie
cardinal landed outside my window
threw his head back and sang a song
so beautiful it made me cry
took me back to a childhood tree
full of birds and dreams

from this one place I can't see very far
in this one moment I'm square in the dark
these are the things I will trust in my heart
you can see something else
something else

I don't know what's making me so afraid
tiny cloud over my head
heavy and grey with a hint of dread
I don't like to feel this way
take me back to a window seat
with clouds beneath my feet

from this one place I can't see very far
in this one moment I'm square in the dark
these are the things I will trust in my heart
you can see something else
something else