"Your butt is not a billboard" and other important rules

Bella is now 5.  She is still playing in mud and picking her nose in public, but she is already obsessed by the way she looks.  She is constantly fiddling with her hair, comparing her clothes and look to other girls and women, and wanting to wear bras.  How could this be possible? 

I feel that for years I have tried to protect her from the trappings of culture, but it seems they are grabbing a hold of her anyway. 

But the role television plays in our kids' lives wiggles its way in so deceptively.  The shows on Disney and Nickelodeon have girls with veneered teeth, hair extensions, manicured fingers, and clothes that would have had our mothers sending us back to our rooms!  They are so far from what a normal teenage girl can actually achieve, it is no wonder that so many girls have low self esteem. 

And that doesn't even begin to explain the messages! They tell watchers that looking good is the most important and that being smart is okay, but only if you are pretty and cool too, and that you always have to be on the look out for the boy or the girl who will be "the one".  There is so much kissing on these shows that I feel like I am constantly telling the kids to turn the channel. Even the music videos in between are filtering messages into their heads.  Bella was singing one of these songs the other day.  The lyrics say, "One day I’ll have you begging on your knees for me. One day I’ll have you crawling like a centipede. You mess with me. And mess with her. So I’ll make sure you get what you deserve. One day you’ll be begging on your knees for me"  WHAT?!? Is this what we want girls to grow up believing?  That boys are jerks and that we have the power to play games with them? I have told her that she isn't allowed to sing it anymore, but the message is already in her head. 

But here is my problem.  I have lost control of the kids viewing habits.  I will admit it!  Before the kids knew how to control the remote and didn't know that there were other options than the one that was showing on the screen, it was easy.  The second problem is that there are just not many good alternatives on television. Shows are full of boy-girl stuff, violence, or inappropriate humor, even things that seem innocent at face value. 

But what if we got rid of our cable?  Well, I will be the first to admit it would definitely help.  But, as much as I would like it to, it would not completely remedy the problem.  Because my kids are going to be bombarded with these messages at school, at the mall (Am I the only one who wants to cover their kids eyes when walking past the Victoria's Secret windows?), and even from me.  I send off messages that I don't even know I am and I know it ~ if that makes any sense. 

But I know that I need to make some changes. I know that I need to make my voice louder than the culture (metaphorically, of course).  Even when culture tries to send appropriate messages, it can sometimes misfire, as Jon Acuff points out in this hilarious post about "True Love Waits" Sweatpants!

I think one of my new favorite fashion rules for Bella is "Your butt is not a billboard.”!