Where is the delete button?

There used to be a deodorant commercial that said, "Because you only get one chance to make a first impression." I have thought about that commercial a lot lately, since I have been subbing at several new schools this year.

I mentioned before that subbing is a lot like having a new job all the time.  You don't really know all the policies and people and they don't really know you.  It is especially disconcerting that the principals or assistant principals are the ones who call you, but they never really get to see or talk to you much while you're there.  And, for me, it always seems like they show up just in time to see me in some unflattering light or another. I will give you some examples.

I was subbing at a school last week that I'd only subbed at once before. I had barely seen the assistant principal who called me that day.  I was standing in the hallway with all the classes from the grade I was subbing and we were waiting to go out at recess.  I had just said, "Mrs. (teacher's name)'s class you need to be quiet if you want to go outside." One of the students said, "We aren't Mrs. (teacher's name)'s class, we are Mrs. (teacher's name)'s class." Then just as I responded with, "Well, whoever you are, you need to be quiet.", the assistant principal comes around the corner.  He hadn't heard the entire exchange, and I wondered how he felt about my etiquette with the students!

Then yesterday, I was subbing at another school for the first time.  I had never met the principal before that day when I arrived.  I was standing in the hallway with my kids who had just gotten rewards for their behavior.  One of the boys began loudly clicking this little toy he'd just selected.  I meant to say, "What is the rule about that?", but instead it came out, "What is the rules?".  Of course, around the corner comes the principal, who not only also corrected the boy with the toy, but probably wondered if I knew that the sentence I just spoke was grammatically incorrect.

Last year, I was sitting in the teacher's lounge eating lunch with some other teachers.  I knew one of the teachers from church, so I was more chatty than I normally am when I am working.  (I tend to eat lunch at my desk, while reviewing my plans, or reading a book if the plans are pretty simple. And because I don't know people and I don't want to get caught in any office politics or say something stupid - because of the whole "first impression" thing I mentioned - I don't chit chat a lot to other teachers, unless I already know them.) But this day, I was just conversing as I normally would in any other social situation. One of the teachers was joking about her boobs being too big and catching all the food she dropped. As I was responding (and my comment was obviously something about breasts), the room just happened to get quiet, so my comment was heard by all - including the vice principal (who mercifully was a female!). Everyone thought it was funny, but I wanted to crawl under the table!

Since I sub at my kids' school, I thought I would share this little antidote, even though it didn't occur while I was subbing and wasn't something I said. Elias said it, so it indirectly reflects on me. I have to set this up by telling you that my kids love listening to Tim Hawkins, a Christian comedian who specializes in song parodies.  One of Elias' favorites is "I don't drink beer". So the other day, Elias was talking about how drinking beer makes your mind fuzzy and other facts he picked up in the song to his teacher.  I can't remember now exactly how he worded what he said, but he sounded pretty knowledgeable! I am sure she was wondering how he had learned his facts about beer!  I felt like sending her an email with the link to the song to explain!

I could go on with more examples, but I will simply say that being a sub can be hard on your nerves, especially for a type A, people pleaser like me!