Where he leads me - will I follow?

Yesterday at church, we sang the song "We Will Follow" by Jars of Clay.  In the past when I have sang the chorus, "Where you lead us we will follow", I have always thought of the great missions that God may want me to follow him in.  But yesterday, as I was singing those words a very vivid, unexpected memory popped into my head.

The memory was from the day that I spent with my sponsored children in Peru at a child's amusement park.  My sponsored children are 7-year old Elias and 5-year old Xiomara.  We were enjoying the rides at this little amusement park, that were similar to county fair rides.  They had a 'House of Horrors'.  Elias wanted to go into the house really bad.  I was a little skeptical, but I thought, "This park is for children, so it surely won't be that scary." Well, I forgot that we weren't in America anymore!  About 5 feet into the house, I realized that I had made a terrible mistake!  This house was filled with things that even scared me! 

But there was only one problem - the only way out was through - and in a single file line. 

So I have Xiomara in front of me and Elias behind me, holding each of their hands.  The translator is behind Elias holding his hand.  As soon as the scary stuff started, Xiomara started screaming and crying and closed her eyes and planted her feet.  And she refused to move.  She couldn't understand my English and it was too loud for her to hear the translator's voice.  Elias, on the other hand, was wide-eyed and you could see that he was really scared, but when I would finally get Xiomara to take a few steps, he would willingly be lead by my hand.  I only wish that I could have communicated to Xiomara that it was for her best to trust me to keep moving.  It would have been so much easier on her in the end.

I think there is a reason that this memory popped into my head.  When God wants to lead me into a new adventure I am all for it and singing, "Where you lead me I will follow." But when he wants to lead me through hardship and heartache, I want to close my eyes and plant my feet, scream and cry.  I don't want to take God's hand and trust him to lead me through the scariest parts. I was trying to tell Xiomara what was best for her, but she couldn't understand the language I was speaking and she couldn't hear the translation from all of the scary noise around her.  In the same way, I can't seem to hear God's voice or understand why it is best for me to walk through the scary parts, but it would be so much easier for me if I would just hold his hand and trust him, even when I can't hear or understand.

It is hard to think about all of the scary patches ahead in my life, but I know that there is only one way through it.