Wandering thoughts

Last night, Josh and I had to go our separate ways.  Josh went to Elias' basketball banquet and I took Bella to Veggie Tales Live (which was excellent and worth every penny of the ticket price).  We were going to all four go together, but Elias would have had to miss his banquet and he has recently decided he is too old for Veggie Tales - along with a few dozen other things, including his car booster seat.  I have finally conceded to letting him ride without it, since he is within 2 pounds and 2 weeks of his birthday.  It is weird to think that I was once strapping him into a baby seat and a stroller and he was completely at my mercy to go or do anything.  But now, I barely remember what that felt like.  Both of my children have their own thoughts, their own ideas, and their own two legs to take them where they need to go.  I know they still need me immensely - probably in some ways even more now, but it is sometimes so bittersweet to see them grow.

Today, I am taking the kids to see "The Lorax" and then getting Elias' eight year pictures taken at Sears.  Then Josh is going to meet us after work for a quick meal and I am going to leave the kids with him and go to a local consignment kid's clothing sale at a church that is this weekend only. Life rolls along.

This week I got my license to sub in the public schools.  I am not sure I am ready to step back into the workforce or ready to handle 15-25 unruly kids when some days I feel like I can't handle my own two, but I am going to give it a try. I miss teaching. My job teaching at the technical college was one of my favorites.  I know there are many trials to teaching, but also many rewards.  Subbing is a whole different experience, though.  Since we subbed at the college for other professors who were out, I know that subs aren't treated by the students as the regular teachers are and vice versa. It is sort of like having first dates continuously. 

We finally got our family room fixed from the flooding over the summer (minus a few finishing touches, like furniture and wall hangings, etc.).  I am so pleased with the final results. I am almost glad that the flooding perpetuated the remodeling of the room.  But now I feel like I am just waiting for the next thing to go ka-floo-y in our house.  Not sure if I spelled ka-floo-y right, or if that is even a word, but that is the best description of what I felt happened to our house over a few months last summer.  It is an effort to live life open-handed, palms up, willing to let God have and do what he wants in my life, instead of clench-fisted, holding onto what I feel should be certainly mine.

Our house has recently become the host location for our small group.  I love having people in my home.  I love making my home an environment where people can be comfortable and welcomed.  Since this isn't our first time as small group hosts, I know there will be days that I am shoving stray laundry and toys into closets and bedrooms and thinking that I just want to get into my pajamas and read, instead of preparing for company, but I know the blessing of being with people who I can be in true community outweighs the pain of the preparation.  I feel like our house has been given to us for this purpose.  It is not only to provide safety and a haven for our own little clan, but to be a place for others to be brought into our lives.  When we were looking for a house, we looked for the "hospitality" factor of each and this one definitely had it and I feel abundantly blessed - but sometimes I feel like we have not let it live up to its hospitality potential, as schedule and life have made visiting in general less frequent than I would have hoped. 

The winter, despite the lack thereof, is nearing an end.  We will be "Springing Forward" this weekend.  The months have past so quickly and I feel a slight sadness that we didn't have much snow.  I don't really understand why, because I am not a person who wildly loves snow, but it feels like some of the magic of winter was locked away somewhere - I am guessing with my friend Elizabeth who is halfway around the world and has seen her fair share of snow this winter!  I guess maybe the slight sadness comes from living almost my entire life with seasons marking my memories.  I look forward to Spring flowers and Summer pool days, but there is just something about winter that can't be replaced by either.

Well, it is time to take my beautiful little ones to the movies, so I will end this pointless, wandering blog post here.  I am not sure why I decided to share all of these disjointed thoughts here.  Normally, they are reserved for my journal, where there is no need for main ideas or purpose.  Sometimes I just feel like the way my mind really works is hidden behind a veil of organization and definition.  This is the way my thoughts normally run...from one place to the next, landing slightly and occasionally, but always connected by the same string.