Life gives us circumstances. If you look at circumstances by themselves they are benign. Detectives casually discuss case records. We read newspaper obituaries of strangers as passing news. Someone we don't know gets into an accident, gets divorced, or has to claim bankruptcy. These things don't affect us at all or much. But if you know the person affected, it changes everything. The circumstance is benign, but the emotional effect is not. That is why you can have one person face a tragedy like losing a limb in war by helping other soldiers to cope and another who will fall into depression and commit suicide.
I think this may answer the question, "Why do bad things happen to good people?". Because the circumstance or "bad thing" is benign. So God doesn't have to always prevent the "bad thing", we just have to let Him be our joy and strength through it. It is what we do with the circumstance that defines who we are and what we believe. I have noticed when people use their circumstances and the lessons they've learned through those circumstances to benefit others, they are normally able to handle some pretty horrific circumstances. While, there are times when the slightest of life's woes can throw another person's life completely off course. When we love others, even when it is hard, it brings joy to God. In Nehemiah, it says, "The joy of the Lord is your strength." Feeling joy in life brings joy to God. We bring joy to God by loving others even when it is hard, not taking an apparently easier but less moral path, letting go of selfishness and pride to realize that you are never truly alone in your circumstance - that there is always someone else that is dealing with the same struggle, if not in your immediate circle, somewhere in the world, or even your state or your county or your neighborhood. Helping when its necessary, even when it is an inconvenience These things give God joy and that is where we find our strength.
Sometimes I handle the most difficult circumstances in my life better than the daily nuisances. I think it is because nuisances don't make me dig in deep, to remember what I know and believe about God, to trust him because there is nothing else to do. I can have a pity party pretty easy over house repairs, but when tragedy really strikes, if I can't find a way to remember that God is sovereign in it, it could mean big trouble for me. But when I let the little nuisances separate me from God by my own discontentment or self-preservation, it becomes harder to remember what I know and believe when it is necessary. It would be easier to trust and believe all the time and in the first place.
It reminds me of when I first married Josh. I had a slight (okay, maybe a little bigger than slight) temper. I grew up in a family where you yelled and banged first and asked questions later and I definitely was bringing that history into my marital relationship. But, Josh was not raised in a yelling home, so he didn't know his role. So this is how our arguments would go:
I would get offended or hurt. I would fume and huff and expect Josh to come and know just what was wrong and the right thing to say to make it better. He wouldn't. I would get more mad. I would go clean or do some other task. I would get louder and more obnoxious in my effort to show him I was upset. He would come over and say the really infuriating question, "Is something wrong?" or he would do something that I could pounce on to let the floodgates of my fury open, like sit on the couch and turn on the t.v.. Then the real yelling and banging would start. Josh would stare at me quietly. I would get more mad. I would yell and bang more. He would stay quiet. I would get more obnoxious. He would reach his breaking point and start to yell back. I would spew out all of these hateful things that I didn't really mean. He would say he was a jerk and that he didn't know how not to be. I would start to feel bad for berating him and being so obnoxious (sometimes after I or he had stormed out of the room). I would apologize and tell him the real reason that I was so mad and how I really felt. He would tell me what he was really thinking and feeling and then we'd both feel sorry that it had gotten so ugly and wished we could take it all back.
After a few years of this, we realized that the only way to prevent this from happening was for us to tell each other what was wrong immediately and the other person to be willing to listen and to understand that it bothered the other, even if they didn't understand why, and try to come to a compromise to change it. Sounds simple, right? I think thousands of marriages could be saved if this simple solution was put into practice. So, instead of letting little things add up and get to me now, I just go right to Josh and say something like, "I am upset about this. It may be unreasonable of me or unfair. If it is you need to explain to me why and work with me on it, so I am not upset anymore." Instead of flying off the handle and losing it first and then having to come back and clean up the mess, I can just deal with the root of the issue originally and then it doesn't create such havoc.
The same should go with me and God. As soon as things start to bother me or hurt me, I should go right to God and say the same thing, "I don't understand this and it is making me sad, angry, frustrated, etc. and I need you to help me out with this, so that I am not upset anymore by it and can move on." But, sadly, I don't do that enough. I look to others to solve my problems. Or I try to be tough and work through it alone, part of me a little miffed at God that he isn't doing more to take care of the problem(s). Or, worse yet, I lash out saying hurtful things about or to others or I downplay or question God's love and will in my life. It would be much easier to just go to God originally.
But sometimes he's easier to avoid than the man sitting on my couch turning on the television....
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