It's my life and I can cry if I want to...

If you know me well, you know that I cry easy.  It doesn't take much to get the water works going.  I hate this about myself.  I have tried about every tactic to stem the flow of tears that seem to bubble up into my throat and then spring from my eyes.  I often wonder if people think that I am emotionally unstable at times because the simpliest things can make me weep.  I get so frustrated with myself, but it is just something I can't really control that well.  Sometimes I wonder if I allow myself to feel too deeply.  But now, I have come to realize that Elias is a lot like me and sometimes it kills me to know that he will have to deal with overflowing emotions - especially since that is even more undesirable for a man. 
We will be saying goodbye to some friends tomorrow night who are moving away and Elias has been very emotional the past few days.  It feels selfish of me to be sad or feel sorry for Elias missing our friends, when they will be the ones experiencing the greater transition, but it does make my heart sad to see him trying hard to work through these feelings.  Even now, I feel teary-eyed thinking about them.  I feel like thinking, "It isn't fair that they are leaving.", but that is not only selfish, that is crazy. 

Again, Sara Groves has the perfect song...(I am sorry for the continual Sara Groves references, but I seriously feels like her songs explain my life.)


A Lot Like Me by Sara Groves

Baby, I'm afraid you're a lot like me
You can't help feeling everything
I can see you trying to hold it in
I see your eyes and your trembling chin
And for you and myself I will pray
Let our weakness become our strength
Baby, there are some holes you just can't fill
You try and try, but you never will
Baby, I believe a God who can
He loves the boy and he'll love the man
And for you and myself I will pray
Let our weakness become our strength