Unglued Book Review

I mentioned in my last blog post that I have been doing a Bible study based on the book "Unglued" by Lysa TerKeurst. Since this book has had a significant impact on me, and I really wasn't sure it would before beginning it, I have decided to do a quick book review.

Whether you are a person who explodes or stuffs their emotions, this book can be really beneficial.  I have learned many tidbits of information that has really helped me to rethink my reactions and emotions. I have realized that things I have just assumed were normal or "just the way I am", doesn't have to be.  I think that it gives really practical advice to help you in the midst of chaotic moments.

Some of my favorite ideas or quotes from the book are:
1. Emotions aren't dictators, they are indicators.
2. Do I want to prove or improve?  Do I want to prove my point or improve my relationship with the other person? Tackle the issue, not the person.
3. "I can't control the things that happen to me each day, but I can control how I think about them...I can face things that are out of control and not act out of control."
4. Labels that we give ourselves or others keep us imprisoned in a rut and all of our interactions are tainted by the labels we have already placed.  And we react to people based on how we think they are think or feeling about us, even if they have never said the things we have thought they are thinking.  We always have to be attempting to separate the truth from the lies.
5. There are 4 types of unglued reactions: Exploders who shame themselves; Exploders who blame others; Stuffers who build barriers; Stuffers who collect retaliation rocks.  I have found that I am all these in different relationships in my life.  Sometimes I can be more than one within the same relationship.
6.  We need to strive for soul integrity: "Soul integrity is honesty that's godly.  It brings the passion of the exploder and the peacemaking of the stuffer under the authority of Jesus where honesty and godliness embrace and balance each other."
7. When you want to explode, think about how that explosion will impact the relationship.  As Lysa says, "Sip the shame so you won't have to guzzle the regret."
8. In God's economy, people don't stand on opposing sides of the conflict scale.  People stand on one side and Satan stands on the other.  When we dump hurt into one another's lives, we aren't leveling the conflict scale.  We are just weighing down the people side of the scale and elevating the Satan side of the scale. Satan loves it when we do his work for him by dumping on each other."
9. "I have to remember that giving honor (to someone I am in conflict with) reveals more about my character than the character of the other person."
10. "...remember there is a big difference between a reaction and a reply...Choosing a gentle reply doesn't mean you are weak; it actually means you possess a rare and godly strength."
11. In 2 Chronicles 20:3 it says, "Alarmed, Jehoshaphat resolved to inquire of the Lord, and he proclaimed a fast for all Judah." Just like Jehoshaphat, when I feel alarmed by a situation, I can resolve to inquire of the Lord.
12. A Biblical procedure manual for alarming situations is: 1) Remember who you are. 2) Redirect your focus on Jesus 3) Recognize God's job isn't your job 4) Recite thanks and praise to God 5) Realize reactions determine reach
13. "Remember comfort zones don't have to be comfortable-they just have to be familiar.  It's where you feel you belong. And where you come to believe you belong is where you'll stay."
14. "Because sometimes I find myself talking about God so much He becomes more of an identity marker than an identity changer. Having God as an identity marker reduces Him to nothing more than a label, a lingo, and a lifestyle...But having God as an identity changer is much, much more."
15. "The ugly truth is comparison steals celebration...We stop celebrating our own good and have a really hard time celebrating other's good." and "'I'm not equipped to handle what she has, both good and bad - and what she has is always a package deal of both.' In other words, I've been assigned a load I can handle."
16. "We get into trouble when, instead of parking our minds on truth, we let them idle in perception." and "These were idle thoughts allowed to run rampant in my mind for so long I confused them with truth."

I know this is a hodgepodge of different thoughts and ideas, but they are the things I have remembered the most and would like to retain.

I would encourage you to pick up the book and/or the Bible study and DVD.  You could even host a Bible study of your own!  All you need is a couple women and a DVD player!