I have loved looking at our family pictures. I will admit it - I have scrolled through and looked at each one of them more than a dozen times (maybe more than 2 dozen!). I love seeing the beautiful smiles and laughing eyes of my kids. Love to see their little arms around each other and their little hands resting in ours. I feel blessed when I see their expressions that seem like a mirror of ours and know that it is all such a gift.
But behind those pretty faces, it is not always peace, love, and joy in the Wilson home. Oh, how I wish it was. I wish these pictures were our every minute. But they aren't. There were many times during the picture session that one of the kids was having a meltdown. I told Kara, the photographer, that those pictures were definitely a part of our reality right now.
Parenting can be so tough. Just when you get one obstacle tackled, another one pops up, or the one you thought you tackled pops back up.
As you know, I have been participating in this "Unglued" study. It has really been helping me, but there are still so many challenges. When I began the study, I quickly began to control my outbursts of frustration and anger (actions), then around week 3, I realized that I needed really to work harder on my attitude and thoughts (my heart). I have seen minor changes in my relationships with the kids. I can separate their bad behavior more from who they are. I have realized that every discipline problem isn't the end of the world. They can trust me more because I am not as volatile. I have been carrying out consequences more quickly, instead of letting a situation escalate. But the changes are so slow and minor that I want to see quicker results.
The problem is that my kids don't seem to want to get with the unglued program! Then this morning as I was dealing with yet another unglued situation with my daughter, while trying to remain loving and kind, yet steadfast in the discipline that I had set, I realized that she has not read the book!
You are probably thinking, "Well, duh - she is like 6 or something, right?" But it really was an epiphany for me. I read all of these books and learn all these ideas and techniques and expect my family to "get with the program". But that isn't going to happen. I have to set an example in word and deed. I can't reason them into wanting to do it. They have to see by my example that it is really the easiest and best way.
But that takes the word I fear I am the worst at - consistency. For being an A-type, structured person, I can be the most inconsistent in terms of emotion and action - especially when it comes to discipline. I get busy, stressed, discouraged, or just plain lazy.
I was reading someone's blog recently where she wrote about an issue that took almost 18 years to resolve with her daughter. I thought to myself, "I don't think I could ever deal with the same issue for that many years. I would just throw up my hands and say, 'Fine then, have it your way and see if I care.'" But the scary thing is that I may have to do just that. If I want my kids to be rescued from what Satan wants to do to them, I have to be willing to battle long and hard...just the thought of that makes me tired.
I ask you to pray for me and my kids - for consistency and for joy in the midst of chaos. I will pray for you, if you ask. I have had the privilege to have many women in my life who have asked how they could help or lent an ear to my frustrations or given advice. I have appreciated each and every one and it has helped little by little.
So, now I am off to go catch onto the tail of the whirlwind that is going to be my day today...and maybe stop to look through my family pictures just one more time!
2 comments:
Yes - I will pray for you. I already have, in fact. I think every mother needs people praying for her as she raises her kids.
My request would be that as I homeschool and raise my daughters, I would be able to nurture each according to her individual needs. My two have very different personalities and one is just more naturally easy to be around and interact with.
And, of course, my greatest request is that God would call each of my girls into relationship with them, and they would answer that call with obedience, humility and a servant's heart.
Thank you Jill for entrusting your prayer request to me. I just prayed for you and will continue to do so. My children are the same as yours - both with distinct personalities that must be handled differently, but it can be so difficult to have wisdom with that!
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