Loving a Person

Yesterday was a rough day from the very beginning.  The kids woke up in cranky moods, Josh was running late getting to work, and I had to have a cavity filled at 10 a.m..  But since it was our 15 year anniversary, I was determined that somehow I would salvage the rest of the day.  But, the rest of the day refused to be salvaged.  Bella continued being belligerent, until I made her take a late afternoon nap and Elias came home with a folder full of homework.  I had made no plans for dinner, because Elias had soccer practice scheduled at 5.  But because it began to rain cats and dogs, the practice was canceled and we still had no plans for a meal.  Josh ended up getting off work late and Bella woke up in an extremely hyper mood.  So, I am scrambling to pull out anything edible from our fridge, while Bella and Elias are jumping off the walls, and Josh is scrambling to get his clothes changed and things ready for youth - on top of giving the kids the attention they were craving. Also, I was baking brownies, because I always make some type of snack for the youth.  Josh came home and said off-handedly that he had something down in the freezer for me and that he didn't realize that I would have already made the snack for the evening.  I was just a bit frustrated by this time.  The day had not lived up to a pleasant day for an average day - let alone a day as monumental as I thought our 15th year anniversary should be. Josh and I had promised each other that we wouldn't get each other anything for our anniversary, since we had bought more at Christmas than usual.  But he wanted to surprise me with an ice cream cake - which is my all-time favorite dessert.  I felt bad that I was frustrated, but I also wanted to sulk about it all.  So after everyone left from youth and we got the kids to bed, I read a book while Josh watched t.v. and continued to stew over my irritation of the day.  I knew that I wasn't mad at Josh, but I was mad at circumstances and so I didn't want to talk about it and draw him into my ill feelings.  I really hadn't expected the day to be anything grand.  In fact, I knew that we didn't have anything special planned and I was the one who scheduled the appointment to get my cavity filled.  I think I just expected that I would wake up and the air would be full of birds singing and children's laughter, both literally and figuratively, and that I would feel love and peace and joy oozing everywhere I turned.  So when we got ready to go to bed, Josh had a new net book computer sitting on my side of the bed.  I immediately felt like a big jerk.  We were not supposed to get each other anything, but he went and got me a really special gift anyway.  We had talked about getting one for a while now, because we have to often fight over our other laptop and it has been showing lots of signs that the overuse is wearing it out.  But I had never expected Josh to get one for me now.  But it opened the flood gates to all the frustrations and I knew I would get no rest if I didn't unload the heaviness of my day.  So we had a long talk and I realized that it was what I should have done originally.  Before we went to sleep, I realized the day was sort of what our anniversary symbolized.  Life can be grinding on our emotions and often not what we would want or expect, but that is why we need each other.  I can't say that I am glad the day turned out the way it did, but I am glad that at the end of the day Josh and I were at peace with one another and ready to take on the world again this morning.

Since it has been a while since I have posted a Sara Groves song, I thought I was about due to post one!

Loving a Person by Sara Groves


Loving a person just the way they are, it's no small thing
It takes some time to see things through
Sometimes things change, sometimes we're waiting
We need grace either way
Hold on to me
I'll hold on to you
Let's find out the beauty of seeing things through
There's a lot of pain in reaching out and trying
It's a vulnerable place to be
Love and pride can't occupy the same spaces baby
Only one makes you free
Hold on to me
I'll hold on to you
Let's find out the beauty of seeing things through
If we go looking for offense
We're going to find it
If we go looking for real love
We're going to find it