I think I want to be almost Amish

I have been meaning to blog all summer, but we have been so busy and by the time the kids go to bed, I am just too tired to put even a few coherent spoken sentences together, let alone an entire blog post. 

I started a blog post about our vacation the week after we returned (before July 4th) and never finished it.  I keep thinking that I will have time tomorrow, but each day is just so full of living there is no time to write it all down. 

I have been fighting off a melancholy lately in the midst of our full days - from the state of our nation, our culture, our world, my aging parents, the uncertainties of life, my kid's futures, etc.  It is like a dark cloud is trying to cover over all the happiness of the here and now in my life. I hate that so much of the madness around me invades my heart and steals my joy.

My kids are growing, strong and healthy. They are at a great, fun age right now. They are still young enough to be influenced by us, but they are developing their own personalities and tastes so dynamically. Josh and I are doing well and, as usual, he brings me comfort and a listening ear. We are safe and secure and all our needs are met and blessings abound every day.

But there is always the "What ifs..." and the "What about these people who say this or think that..." or the "I don't know how I am going to handle it when or if this happens..."

I can read the verses in the Bible that tell me not to worry and I am good, for the next 10 minutes or so.  Why does melancholy stick so much easier than peace?  Why do I try to run from the cloud.  It will be there if I run or not.  I have to be willing to dance with the Lord in the rain, even if it isn't what I think I want to do.  And the rain will eventually fall on my life, no matter how I try to resist it. 

I have to continually remind myself that there is nothing new under the sun; that God isn't surprised about any of this; that he gives us the strength we need when we need it - over and over and over again. But sometimes I wish I could go live in the woods, with no television, no internet, no popular culture - maybe I should become Amish?

I read this blog post and I really liked what it had to say. I think I want to be almost Amish. I was raised in a community that had Amish, my mother is from Pennsylvania Dutch ancestry.  I went to a church (on & off) growing up that was just one step away from being Mennonite and that is where I learned about salvation and was married.  Even my parents are "old school" in their values and beliefs, even to this day. Maybe I was raised "Almost Amish" in a way.

Here is the link, check it out. http://www.qideas.org/blog/almost-amish.aspx

Two of my favorite quotes from it are

"The Amish have a saying: 'A happy marriage is a long conversation that always seems too short.'" 

and

 "Half a century ago, Martin Luther King Jr. gave a sermon entitled “Paul’s Letter to American Christians.” In it, King warns that moral advances are not keeping abreast with our technological advances: 'Through your scientific genius you have made of the world a neighborhood, but through your moral and spiritual genius you have failed to make of it a brotherhood.'"

 Maybe I need to allow myself the benefit of not trying to save the world - or at least not contemplating how it would be done. Maybe I shouldn't try to borrow tomorrow's trouble. Maybe I shouldn't...not trust God and ignore what my Bible really says. Honestly, if I look back through Biblical accounts, there are few accounts of God's people not being on the receiving end of injustice and isolation and strife. 

Why do I think I deserve better?

Rebuilding in Haiti

Compassion has worked in Haiti for decades.  Long before the spotlight was turned on this country because of the earthquake that made the world pay them attention, Compassion was present and active. 

A Compassion advocate recently visited as part of a medical missions team that was unaffiliated with Compassion, but she ended up being surrounded by Compassion her entire trip. 

You can read about her trip and experiences here.

I particularly thought her account of how the new hospital was being built was particularly interesting.  Here is an excerpt that stuck out to me:

Julian explained that the hole is being dug by pick and shovel rather than with large excavators.

“Because Compassion asked that, rather than hiring one man to work the excavator, we hire lots of local men in order to help as many as possible. Although these men would gladly work for anything offered to them, Compassion requires us to pay a wage that compares to the national average. This is now the largest work force on the island.
Compassion also asked us to not use pre-made items from the United States so we can develop the local economy and teach the workers skills they can use in the future. This same work model will be used for building Compassion child development centers in the future.”

Courtesy of Compassion International: http://blog.compassion.com/making-a-visible-difference-in-haiti/#ixzz1yuMWJAYK

And the winner is...

The winner of the "Just a Minute" book is MARIA!  Maria, I will send you a private message to arrange getting it to you.

Thank you to those who entered.  I have another extra copy that I may be giving away in the future, so you may still have a chance to win it. 

"Just a Minute" review and giveaway

I just finished reading "Just a Minute" by Compassion International's CEO, Wess Stafford.

I don't know where to begin talking about this book.

First, I will tell you what this book is not.  It is not an advertisement for Compassion or child sponsorship or just another "Chicken Soup for the Soul".

When I first heard about the concept for "Just a Minute", I was instantly interested. I am a person who can think of tons of "minutes" that changed the course of my life.  Sometimes when I look back over my life, it looks like those scenes from a movie where someone is dying and their life flashes before their eyes in random snapshots that are unrelated, but come together and make sense. I know that these individual minutes have created a web to make me who I am today. I have always realized that little things we do and say to others, even those we barely know, can have a big impact on them, because they have made an impact on me.  I was indeed like wet cement as a child - very impressionable. Thankfully, I had many adults who spoke goodness, encouragement, and love into my life, even as other adults spoke hurt, discouragement, and judgement. 

So, obviously, I was excited to read this book.  But what I didn't expect was just how well written and interestingly woven the book as a whole would be.  I read most of it while I was sitting by the pool waiting while my kids had swim lessons.  The parents who sat around me probably thought I was a bit crazy.  One minute I would laugh out loud, another moment I would be a bit teary-eyed or choked up.

Years ago, Josh and I tried for several years to get pregnant, with no success. God opened my eyes to the fact that, even if I never had children of my own, I had children all around me who needed adults to take notice of them, encourage them, or support them. They need adults, other than their parents, to tell them that they matter and someone cares about them.  But this book was like a "refresher course" about the power of a simple word or action - how it can build or destroy.  As I read this book, I was even more deliberate in the way I treated my children, my neighbor's and friend's children, and even children I came across in the store.

Now, to be fully transparent, there is a story I submitted in this book and I have been asked to share my opinion about the book with my blog readers.  But after reading the book, I am not quite sure how my story made it in!  It isn't just a book about "average Joes and Janes" like me, but of world and ministry leaders as well.  It talks about minutes in the lives of people like Colin Powell, Tony Dungy, and even Adolph Hitler, who made them who they were.

It talks about parents, grandparents, teachers, neighbors, coaches, and strangers who made people become artists, musicians, teachers, and more.

 I have a copy of this book that I would like to give away to someone.  The only thing I ask is if you enter to win it, I would like you to read it within the next 6 months and tell me what you thought of it or share a review on your blog.

To enter, simply leave a comment telling me that you'd like the book.  You could also share your own "minute" or "minutes" that had an incredible impact in your life and copy and paste it on the "Just a Minute" web site here, but it is not required in order to enter that giveaway.  I will select a winner on Friday or Saturday. I moderate my comments, so your comments will not appear immediately.

Am I just a grumpy old woman?

I was thinking about my last post (Sorry about the repetitiveness of it, by the way.  I didn't realize how much it was the same as a previous one until after I posted it.).

I was thinking about how much I enjoy being in quiet environments and how sound really wears on me - mentally and even physically - and I wondered if it is a learned trait or hereditary.  I remember when I was a kid, my mom was so intolerant of sound.  She would always turn the television or radio off or down and she would always be grumbling about too much noise in the house.  I just thought she was grumpy and didn't want to have any fun and didn't want us to enjoy ourselves either.

When I was younger, I didn't mind sound as much as I do now, but I also did my share of sitting in quiet.  I had a friend who would listen to the radio while falling asleep.  When I stayed with her, I could not go to sleep until after she fell asleep and I could turn the radio off.  I would spend a lot of time sitting on the porch swinging, with only the background sounds of the activity in the house and the cars from the street.  I didn't have a television in my room and I didn't listen to the radio all that much either.  Despite my mother's efforts, we lived in a very noisy environment overall.  My dad likes the t.v. on and LOUD.  My sisters always had music or the television on growing up, even if it was just for background noise.  We always had many visitors and sometimes short-term occupants in our house on top of that.  And when I visit them today, their houses are about the same. It is a rare occurrence for their television - or televisions - not to be on and loud.  It is not uncommon for my sister to have a radio playing in her bathroom, a television on in the living room and family room and another television on in one or more of the bedrooms, with people watching or not watching them. 

Now that I am older, I am extremely sound sensitive. I am constantly turning off the television or radio or turning them down. When I go to other people's houses and there is a television on that no one is watching and we are trying to converse, it often takes me a good bit of self control not to ask to turn it off. If I am at my extended family's house, I often will ask or I will just do it myself. Often when I am watching television or a movie somewhere else, I feel like it is too loud for me.

Josh's noise tolerance is about the same as mine - sometimes his is greater and sometimes his is less - but, thankfully, we are mostly on the same page on this. Josh will often turn the radio off as soon as he gets in our van and we don't have a television or a radio in our bedrooms and we have no desire for one. My extended family and even some of my friends have commented (often not complimentary) about how quiet we keep our house.

So, I wonder - Is noise tolerance hereditary or learned?  Am I just a grumpy old woman or could I possibly be genetically predisposed to a low tolerance for sound? Could I have inherited this from my mother or is it just something I have gotten used to over the years of living on my own with Josh?

Does anyone else have an unusually low tolerance for sound?

Odds and Ends

It is the day before the last day of school for the kids.  We have been tying up loose ends on all of our activities.  We had a successful end-of-the-season soccer party, a fabulous dance recital, and the kids end-of-the-year luau yesterday at school.  I haven't subbed this week (though volunteering at the luau yesterday was just like subbing, without the pay!) and I doubt I will be subbing tomorrow (not many teachers would be taking off the last day of school).  Not subbing suits me fine.  I am enjoying the last minutes of quiet and solitude before the noise of having children home all day begins.

My house is a WRECK!  I will be honest.  My floors have not seen a broom or vacuum in about two or three weeks and my furniture has not been dusted since before that!  The laundry has been getting done on an "as needed" basis, as have the dishes...and our meals.  The toilets have been scrubbed recently (because there are just some things I can't let go), but the showers are pretty scary at this point.  I really had every intention on starting early and getting it done today, but it is already 11:30 and it doesn't look promising.

So what have I been doing with all of my (not so much of it) free time?
1. I read a novel in 3 days.  It is called, "The Penny".  Great book I got from the library.  I highly suggest it.
2. Watched 2 good movies.  "Rust" and "Forever Strong".  Both great movies.  I highly suggest them as well.  Available on Netflix. 
3. Went biking on the Rails and Trails as a family.  It is even more fun than last year, because Bella is able to keep up with us more.  I think we may even get her a bigger bike soon, since her legs have gotten so much longer since last summer.
4. Relaxing! - Sitting on the porch with a bowl of ice cream after dinner in the evenings.  Reading a devotional book by Corrie Ten Boom. Sitting in our recliner and writing in my journal.
5. Hugging my kids and asking them questions about their thoughts and feelings. -  Subbing has made me realize just how much my kids need me to build them up from what the world tears down in them.  Bella is especially anxious right now about leaving kindergarten to move on to the 1st grade.  I think Elias is feeling a little anxious too, even though he hasn't admitted to it as much.
6. Reading Junie B. Jones books with the kids. I think I enjoy those books more than the kids!  That girl just cracks me up.  She is funnier than Ramona the Pest, but with much worse grammar!  She is a little bratty, but in an endearing sort of way.
7. Laughing with Josh - I love that man!
8. Preparing myself mentally for summer - to prevent our summer from being an endless cycle of hyper activity and boredom.  

I think I forgot how to relax for a few weeks when we were so busy and I was working so much (Relaxing is something I am never really good at to begin with!). 

I have so many jobs I want to get done this summer and I see more things around the house that will need done in the near future.  When I was a kid, I used to wonder why my parents never got around to doing certain things around the house, but other things would come up and they would decide to do right away.  Now I can understand why.  There are just too many things to do and not enough time and if you want to live your life, you just have to let some things slide.  Right now, the cleanliness of my house is on the "slide" pile, along with general house repairs.  I don't think I have quite figured out what is on my current "to do" pile yet.  But I never seem to be idle for long!

Blogging trip to PERU has been announced!

The trip I had mentioned in a previous blog - the one where Shaun Groves takes a group of bloggers with him to Compassion programs all over the world, in exchange for their honest blogging about their experiences - has been announced.

Check it out here.

I would love to go back to Peru and I would love for YOU to go to Peru!