I think I want to be almost Amish

I have been meaning to blog all summer, but we have been so busy and by the time the kids go to bed, I am just too tired to put even a few coherent spoken sentences together, let alone an entire blog post. 

I started a blog post about our vacation the week after we returned (before July 4th) and never finished it.  I keep thinking that I will have time tomorrow, but each day is just so full of living there is no time to write it all down. 

I have been fighting off a melancholy lately in the midst of our full days - from the state of our nation, our culture, our world, my aging parents, the uncertainties of life, my kid's futures, etc.  It is like a dark cloud is trying to cover over all the happiness of the here and now in my life. I hate that so much of the madness around me invades my heart and steals my joy.

My kids are growing, strong and healthy. They are at a great, fun age right now. They are still young enough to be influenced by us, but they are developing their own personalities and tastes so dynamically. Josh and I are doing well and, as usual, he brings me comfort and a listening ear. We are safe and secure and all our needs are met and blessings abound every day.

But there is always the "What ifs..." and the "What about these people who say this or think that..." or the "I don't know how I am going to handle it when or if this happens..."

I can read the verses in the Bible that tell me not to worry and I am good, for the next 10 minutes or so.  Why does melancholy stick so much easier than peace?  Why do I try to run from the cloud.  It will be there if I run or not.  I have to be willing to dance with the Lord in the rain, even if it isn't what I think I want to do.  And the rain will eventually fall on my life, no matter how I try to resist it. 

I have to continually remind myself that there is nothing new under the sun; that God isn't surprised about any of this; that he gives us the strength we need when we need it - over and over and over again. But sometimes I wish I could go live in the woods, with no television, no internet, no popular culture - maybe I should become Amish?

I read this blog post and I really liked what it had to say. I think I want to be almost Amish. I was raised in a community that had Amish, my mother is from Pennsylvania Dutch ancestry.  I went to a church (on & off) growing up that was just one step away from being Mennonite and that is where I learned about salvation and was married.  Even my parents are "old school" in their values and beliefs, even to this day. Maybe I was raised "Almost Amish" in a way.

Here is the link, check it out. http://www.qideas.org/blog/almost-amish.aspx

Two of my favorite quotes from it are

"The Amish have a saying: 'A happy marriage is a long conversation that always seems too short.'" 

and

 "Half a century ago, Martin Luther King Jr. gave a sermon entitled “Paul’s Letter to American Christians.” In it, King warns that moral advances are not keeping abreast with our technological advances: 'Through your scientific genius you have made of the world a neighborhood, but through your moral and spiritual genius you have failed to make of it a brotherhood.'"

 Maybe I need to allow myself the benefit of not trying to save the world - or at least not contemplating how it would be done. Maybe I shouldn't try to borrow tomorrow's trouble. Maybe I shouldn't...not trust God and ignore what my Bible really says. Honestly, if I look back through Biblical accounts, there are few accounts of God's people not being on the receiving end of injustice and isolation and strife. 

Why do I think I deserve better?