Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Helping Compassion is just a couple clicks away!

My friend Jill just posted this message on her blog and I wanted to share it.  Helping Compassion is just a few clicks away.  And unlike other contests, you don't have to submit any of your personal information or agree to get any spam mail to vote.

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Earlier this year I nominated Compassion to be one of the organizations that is on the receiving end of donations coming from One Million for Good. I was thrilled to see Compassion made the final list of nominees.

I need your help.

More specifically, I need your vote. VOTE HERE

I also need your voice as you can help spread the word. Would you help me? If each one of us spreads the word, more and more people will have the chance to vote for Compassion.

Here are some things you can do:
  • post this on your blog
  • email your friends and family
  • post this on facebook
  • tweet
  • whatever else you can think of 
Thanks!

Monday, October 17, 2011

Learning...but no longer as frustrated

I have been being really proactive about getting to the root of Bella's behavior this weekend and addressing the motivations of her actions, instead of just the behavior itself.


 I have learned two things. 

1. She gets her quick temper from me (which I knew already) and when I stay calm over a long period of time, she stays calmer.  But if my fuse blows just once, then the whole process starts over again.

2. We have let Elias be the "big brother who picks on her" a little too much.  He is very covert about how he does this sometimes, so we don't even notice that he is doing it, until she completely loses it.  Elias doesn't like it much when we focus on what he may be doing wrong to instigate her behavior, so he has been more volatile and upset this weekend. 


Oh, the joys of raising kids and all the things (and flaws) it reveals to you about yourself!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Frustrated, disappointed, confused...FRUSTRATED!

My daughter and I see things differently and we are often upset with each other about it.  I don't like feeling like we are on a different page, but I can't seem to bridge the gap.  I had originally started this blog with the statement, "My daughter and I see things differently.  She thinks the world revolves around her and I disagree." But that is not true and was not fair to my daughter.  I really believe that our relational conflict is mutual, but it still does not help me to know exactly how to solve it.

I have tried talking to her, talking more loudly to her, talking even more loudly.  I have tried smacking her bottom after I talk to her.  I have tried spending one-on-one time with her.  I have tried to ask her about her feelings.  I have tried telling how her behavior makes those around her feel.  I have read books and more books and more books.  I have prayed and prayed and prayed about it.  I have prayed with her about it.

She is often a fun, independent, and friendly child.  But I feel like she is always on the verge of an eruption and you never know when she will spew her anger and upset and who it will be directed toward - but she seems to do it worse with her immediate family than anyone else.  Because of this, when she gets home from school, she seems to have all this pent-up angry energy built up and it always comes out on me.

I am at a complete loss as to what to do.  She just has such a quick temper and anger seems like it boils under the surface always in her heart.  She also stuffs her feelings inside.

I know that my reaction makes it worse - since she knows where every last one of my buttons are and proceeds to not only push them, but to jump on them for a while.

I have been trying really hard to control my reaction to her because I know that she gets some sort of satisfaction from making me blow my top.  Maybe it gives her feel justified to do it herself.  I also know that I allowed her temper to increase by ignoring it in the beginning because I thought that it was a phase or, more appropriately, I just didn't know what to do about it, except ignore it.  Also, since she was the baby of the family, I allowed her to be selfish from a small age, so now she thinks being selfish is normal.

I say all this not to be negative to my daughter, but to be real and share an area that I really need wisdom and guidance and prayer.  I know that it is my responsibility to "train her in the way she should go" and I feel like I am really failing at it!

When she got home from school yesterday at 3:30, she was in rare form and was in time out and had been talked to 3 times before Josh got home at 5.  I am tired.  I am worn.  Did I mention that I was FRUSTRATED?

I love her and I want us to be loving to each other.  I thought I would be having these issues when she was a teenager, not when she was 5!

Please say a prayer for me.

I am currently on book number 1,238 (not literally, but it feels like it!).  But can I just call in Super Nanny?  She gets the kids (and adults) whipped into shape in a matter of a few days.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Organization through Duplication

There are times when I can't share quickly enough all of the blog posts that I have running through my head.  There are other times, like now, that I can't think of a single thing that I have a desire to share.  During these times, sometimes ideas for blog posts seem like butterflies.  The idea will come close for a minute and I will just get a good look at it and then it will flutter away again.

I have toyed often with the idea of being a professional organizer, so I thought I would share some little organization tips that I use in my personal life.  And, from lack of anything better to share, I will give you some unsolicited information (but I guess that is what blogging is all about!).

I love to organize and I have little things I do to make my life go more smoothly and be more organized that I think just seem natural or obvious to me. But I have found that they may not seem so obvious or natural to someone else.  Also, I am not a clutter person and I think many times duplication can be unnecessary, but I have found that there are some things that it helps me to have more than one (or three) and more than one (or three) places for it.  Sometimes organizing can be a creature of its own and keeping things organized can become more of a burden than a help.  I love to organize, but I also think that organization should make your life easier and be an integral part of your life and how you live it.  That is why one organizing technique that works for one person may not work for another person.

A lot of these things don't really cost that much more or take up that much space, but saves us a lot of headaches, literally!

Here is a random list of things that I keep duplicates of and it may or may not be helpful to you.

1. Headache Medicine. I keep Tylenol and ibuprofen in both the bathroom closet and in the kitchen.  Since drinks are in the kitchen and I spend a lot of time there, it just makes sense to have it in the kitchen, too.

2. Facial Cleanser. I keep facial cleanser in my shower and on my sink.  I used to only keep it at the sink.  Then, if I was in a hurry and wanted to just wash my face in the shower, I would have to remember to put it in the shower.  Then at night, I would have to take it back out of the shower again.  It doesn't really cost me any extra to have it in both places, since I just use each bottle twice as slow.  And an added bonus is that I don't run completely out of it, since I always have some left in one of the bottles.

3. T.V. Remotes. We bought an extra t.v. remote and keep it in a drawer in the kitchen.  I will admit, we did this first because we had lost one and then after we broke down and got another universal one, we found the other.  But after we had two, I have found that it is very helpful.  If we need to turn the t.v. off quickly and don't want to locate the remote, I always have one in the drawer that I can use.  Also, if the kids are too focused on the t.v. and not listening to me say it is time to turn the t.v. off and do homework or get dressed, etc., I can just open the drawer and turn it off.

4. Hairbrushes and hairbands. In the same kitchen drawer with the remotes, I keep a brush with hairbands around the handle, in addition to a brush in each of our bathrooms and in Bella's bedroom.  Since our kitchen is the hub of activity, especially in the morning, it is easier for me to keep a brush there, so I am not running to the bathroom or trying to get Bella to come back to the bathroom or bedroom to get her hair fixed.  I also keep hairbands and a small comb in my purse and in the van, just in case I forget or need to do a quick fix of Bella's hair while we are out.

5. Scissors. I keep scissors on both sides of my kitchen and in both bathroom closets and in my container that I keep my thread and needles in.  This saves me so much time from having to run from one place to cut something and then have to remember to get the scissors back to the right location.  And, again, if you can't find one pair or they are being used (which happens often with kids), I know I have another pair.  I also keep a small pair of sewing scissors in the van console.  This has been very helpful to get tags off of purchases that the kids can't wait to use until we get home or last minute gift wrapping.  They also came in handy when someone was trying to tie something to their car and needed to cut some twine!

6. Pens and paper.  I have pens and paper everywhere.  Whenever I print something, if I end up not needing the page, or it was a coupon or something that only took a small portion of the paper, I always immediately cut the paper up into small note size sheets.  That way, I can keep from wasting paper and I always have paper to make quick notes on and I don't feel too bad about throwing it away, since it was already re-used once.

7. Recycling bins.  I think that the number one reason people choose not to recycle is because it isn't easy or convenient.  When we first moved to this house, I didn't really want the ugly blue recycle bin in my kitchen.  It quickly became a pain to run recyclables downstairs all the time, but I didn't like them sitting on my counter either.  So, I got a regular kitchen trashcan with a lid that I keep in my kitchen and I just put all the recyclables in there together and just take them downstairs to the blue bins about once a week. 

8. Craft containers.  I rarely use things like traditional jewelry boxes or other organizers that are made specifically for one thing.  I frequent the craft aisle and get containers that are practical for my purpose I am using them for now, but they could also be re-purposed if I found that I didn't really need it for the original purpose anymore.

9. Baggies.  I have baggies in every size (which sounds strange for a person who is a major recycler!), but I think it helps to have multiple choices, so that you can have one that is big enough for what you need it, without having extra unnecessary bag.  I even get small baggies from the craft aisle that are made for beads or small jewelry that are great for really small things, like when I need to carry one or two pills or a button or other small misc. thing that doesn't even require a snack size bag.

10. Books.  I have books everywhere, for me and the kids.  We have baskets in the living room and on my night stand, shelves in the kids rooms, hidden in the bathroom drawers, on a bookcase by the door (so I can grab it on the way out, if I am going to an appointment and need something while I wait), and some in the back of my van seats.  This is an area that I have to battle clutter in constantly, but it helps to have books available everywhere, so we don't have to carry books constantly from one room to another.

This is not an exhaustive list and there are many other ways that I try to streamline how I do things, which I may share in future blog posts, but this is just an idea of ways that I am super-crazy-obsessive, but timely and organized in the process!

Only 20 more days!

In just 11 more hours, the number of days I have left in "The Boot" will begin with a 1!  I am so excited.  I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Though, I have to admit, I have gotten quite used to it by now and I will miss the fact that I am hardly ever cold! 

Thursday, October 6, 2011

A new perspective on fasting

I have never thought of it in exactly the same way of this blog post, but it makes perfect sense.


Check it out, if you are interested.

A house full of snaggletooths

When my kids were babies, they teethed differently.  Elias would drool for months.  A tooth would finally appear and then it would take another few weeks or up to a month or more to finish coming in.  Bella would get really grumpy and/or cry hysterically for a day or two, a tooth would make an appearance and then, in no time at all, the tooth would be in the proper position.

Now that they are losing teeth, they are losing them in the same way.  Elias' teeth are loose for a very long time before they actually fall out.  I think he set a record for the length of time someone can have a loose tooth, when it took him from September to April or maybe May to lose his first top tooth.

On Sunday, Bella said that her tooth was burning when she bit down on something at dinner.  I checked it and if felt just a little loose.  It was so slight, I wasn't 100% sure that it was really wobbling or it was just the movement of my fingers.  But then yesterday after school, Bella grabbed some raisins out of the fridge and then next thing I knew, he tooth just popped right out!   Her mouth is so small and her teeth are so crowded, it may be a little while until her adult teeth come in, though.

Elias said to her, "Bella how do you do that? It takes my teeth forever to come out!



Did your kids teeth and/or lose teeth differently?  I am wondering if this correlation is common.