One Thousand Gifts

I just finished reading the book One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.

I am not sure reading would be the right word.  Maybe "wrestled with" would serve as a better description. 

Since Ann is an  notable blogger and also a Compassion advocate who went to Guatemala and blogged about her trip, I was familiar with her writing.  I knew that she wrote like a poet and captured bits of life as if in a microscope.  I knew that I wouldn't be able to read the words effortlessly at face value, but I would need to mine the lines for the truths hidden within.

What I wasn't prepared for was the rawness I felt by being exposed to my continual ungratefulness of life and the thought that I must learn to give thanks in all things, even the "ugly beautiful", as she calls it.  The grit of facing life open-handed and not clenched-fisted.

There were many times while reading it, I wanted to stop - even thought for sure I would - but I kept getting drawn back in, unable to stop because I knew that this was a lesson I needed to learn. 

She writes as if you are hearing her thoughts as she moves through life.  She says something profound and then slices bread or puts a load of laundry in the washer, and she tells you so.  I felt like I was living along with her for a few weeks of her life and I could relate to the life and to the struggles and to the questions. 

She unapologetically looks for the beauty in life.  At times I wanted to fault her for thinking too deeply or being too eccentric, but then I found that when she referred to the beauty around her, it made my eyes see beauty around me anew. 

Even now, I feel like I am thinking and writing poetically for some unknown reason I can't even define!

I got this book from the library, but I wish I had my own copy.  There were about 100 lines I wanted to underline and remember and reference later.  So many times one sentence captured the entire idea of what she was saying, what I needed to remember, so well.

(As a side note, I love our local library!  I called to see if they had it and they didn't.  But without my even asking, they said, "We will order it and call you when it comes in."  So, if you are local and you'd like to read it, feel free to get the copy from the library that I am returning today. You can tell them Jennifer sent you! - Actually, they would probably just look at you oddly and wonder who in the world Jennifer was, so you probably should just nix that idea.)

I have started my own list of gifts.  Not sure if I will be diligent enough to get to 1000, but it causes me to think about what I can find to be thankful for when my world around me seems to be chaos.

1. The way my bed seems like it saves a place just for me every night.
2. The way Josh grinned at me when he woke me up this morning, like he thinks I am adorable when I am sleeping and hates to break my peace.
3. The way I fit so well in my husband's arms.
4. The growl of my belly - knowing that I am truly hungry and that I have not filled a void with food that should be God's space.
5. A kitchen full of food to enjoy without guilt or angst.
6. Lessons relearned and grace for mistakes.
7. A phone call reminding me that God answers prayers.
8. Seeing my own smile when I look at Bella's face.
9. Knowing I can read the depths of Elias' heart and mind by looking into his eyes.
10. The hum of quietness.
11. Light reflecting off of books that are reflecting light into my heart.
12. Two feet that work the way two feet were originally designed to.
13. My dirty house that equals a full life.
14. Friends that make me smile.
15. The joy of good natured banter.
16. The familiarity of home.
17. The comfort of routine.
18. The thousand processes it takes this moment for my body simply to stay alive.
19. A daughter and son who need love and guidance - something I had fervently prayed for and now have.
20. The satisfaction of checking off my "to do" list
21. The first awareness of another day beginning.
22. Kids chattering to their daddy, as he spends the first precious minutes of morning with them.
23. Growing bodies making once loved clothes become hand-me-downs for others to love.
24. My dear husband taking an extra minute in the hustle to get out the door to come back to kiss me goodbye and to look me in the eye and say, "I love you".
26. The hum of the heat and the whirl of the washer, reminding me that my kids will be sleeping in warm, clean beds tonight.
27.The way good memories always outweigh the bad in my mind.
28. Libraries ready offer words to inform and entertain, no matter who is seeking them.
29. Lungs that breath the fullest of breaths.
30. Another day of health for our family.
31. A broken television that has given our family a respite from the outside world invading.
32. A broken television that served as the catalyst to cancel our cable, something we had thought of doing for a long time, but never did.
33. Snow falling outside my window as my tea kettle whistles.
34. My husband saying "Good morning beautiful", even though I woke him up at 5:30 a.m. when I couldn't sleep.
35. Late night talks with the man who knows all my hopes and dreams.
36. Laughing until we cry reminding us that we still like each other more than anyone else in the world.
37. Books that propel me to not be complacent.
38. The kids' personality traits that remind us so much of ourselves.
39. Little hands and little minds.
40. Elias' inability to stay mad at me for long.
41. Bella's songs she sings that are a mixture of all her thoughts and tunes that are familiar.
42. God helping us to make decisions we'd rather leave unmade.
43. Remembrance of all the tangled times in my life that are now smoothed out, giving me hope that my current tangles can be smoothed as well.
44. Old hymns that pop into my mind without warning, reminding me of spiritual truths.
45. The ache in my foot reminding me that the broken was healed and that the break bears the memory still.
46. The older couple I chatted with while leaving the store that reminds me not to overlook those around me who may not be seeking attention.
47. The friend from a former church who, when I met in the grocery aisle, told me her husband's cancer had returned. This reminded me to pray not only for her and him, but for all those who are facing life and death this day and to celebrate with people whenever possible.
48. Being allowed to be a familiar face at my kids' school.
49. The feel of a fluffy sweater and a scarf on a cold day.
50. An email from an old friend that closes the gap between many miles.
51. The internet that gives us access to so much of the world.
52. The way working with Compassion continually teaches me to have compassion for everyone, not just the kids who attend the programs.
53. Seeing my great-grandmother's little blue vase on the dresser and remembering the thin-skinned hands that began handing things like this to me in the months before she was welcomed into heaven.



I only had 32 written in my journal over the last 4 days.  As I was typing, I thought of several more. Getting to 1000 may not be that hard after all. 

What are your gifts today?  Can you dare to count them?