Have you ever really wanted to just tell someone exactly what you were thinking, knowing that in the sort-term it would hurt them like crazy or make them really angry, but in the long run they would be way better off for it? I have had too many of these situations lately and I would like them to stop now! I feel like there are so many dicey circumstances that I am dealing with simultaneously. Sometimes I just wish I were a character in a movie in a scene where they blurt everything they are thinking and feeling at once and it all works out for them in the end. You know the ones I mean. Why can't this work in real life? I will tell you why - because our lives don't fit conveniently into a 2-hour dramatic package. And the reason we all love these scenes is because this is what we dream of doing and are too afraid to deal with the repercussions. Now, sometimes we have to check the motivation that drives us to tell someone what is on our minds. Most of the time when I am trying to weigh my actions or my motivations, I look to the fruit of the Spirit - "Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Humbleness, and Self-Control. Sure, we would love to tell our grandmother that she already explained her gallbladder surgery in graphic detail 2 times and we didn't really need to hear about it the first time, but would that be displaying the fruits of the Spirit? On the other hand, there are times when things really need to be said, and if they aren't said it could deteriorate a relationship further or a person could be caught in a bad situation or something similar. In those situations, sometimes I pray for God to release me and let someone else do the talking, for someone else to "open that wound", so to speak. But it doesn't always happen. Just recently I dealt with a situation where I was asked for advice and after praying about it, I felt compelled by God to tell this person a truth that hurt and angered her. I went from being called an angel to practically being told to stay of of her business within a couple days. I truly felt that I had been kicked in the teeth. I kept thinking, "Why didn't I just keep my mouth shut and not tell her the truth, even though she had asked for it?" But even if I cover up a hurtful truth, it is still there. It is like an infected wound. Sure, I can put a band-aid on it, but it will just fester underneath the bandage even more. I think it is interesting that in Romans 12:18 it does not simply say, "Live at peace with everyone." But it prefaces that statement with, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." I think that statement proves to me that we won't always have our "Happily ever after" in every situation. Sometimes it is just not possible, because it doesn't always depend on us and most of the time messy situations in real-life can't be solved in a 5-minute montage to tie up all the loose ends of the story. Life is full of loose ends, but it is also full of happy endings that sometimes take years to figure out. I find myself praying the "Prayer of Serenity" more and more as I get older. I just looked it up on the internet, so I could post it here and made a fantastic discovery. It has several more sentences that I never knew existed, but adds so much that it is unfortunate that it has fallen by the wayside, just because it won't fit nicely on a poster.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
--Reinhold Niebuhr
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