Neckties & Casual Fridays

It is 5 a.m. and I can't sleep.  I know that I am going to regret this in two hours, when my kids wake up and my day has to begin, whether I am ready for it or not.  My nose is stuffy and I think that a cold is coming on.  Elias has been sniffling and his throat has been raspy since Tuesday, so I don't think it will amount to much, since his hasn't.  I was hoping for a two hour delay, but don't think it is going to happen.  I think people would be so much happier if work and school started later - and I am even a morning person.  I am not sure what rule was passed that said it has to start so early.  It was probably the same person who said that men should where a piece of cloth tied around their necks that serve no functional purpose.  I heard on the radio the other night that there is something like 8 million ties sold worldwide every year, but only 6% of them are worn.  I think about what that money and fabric could have been used for, if it hadn't been used for a piece of functionless fashion.  I also read in a book the other day how ludicrous casual Fridays are.  The author said that if the employers feel like it helps the employees to be more comfortable and work more effectively, they should do it everyday.  But if they want to stress that dress is an important part of their professional work environment, than it should be expected every day, because by not doing so, it undermines the message that the dress code is trying to convey to the employees and to their customers/patrons.  I think it is a valid opinion, but I have to admit, I did like casual Fridays when I worked - it felt almost like I was getting an indulgence, so it made the feeling more special and so I appreciated it more.  Now that I am a stay-at-home mom and can wear whatever I please, I look for a good excuse to get dressed up.  It is funny how perspective changes.  It is the same with getting up for church (or school or work).  On the same note, when I got pregnant with Bella I went to a new OB doctor and the nurse came in wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and a hoodie.  I thought it felt a little weird for her not to be in scrubs, but blew it off, thinking that maybe she had been called in last minute or she was new to the practice and hadn't yet purchased the appropriate attire.  But when the doctor also came in with similar attire, I felt like there was a serious lack of professionalism at the office and ended up switching doctors.  Of course, the Chippendale's calendar on the wall (the men, not the cute, fuzzy cartoon characters) and the pregnancy voodoo doll had also added to my lack of trust in their professionalism. 
If the new start time for school or work became 10 a.m. every day, eventually that would start to feel like it does now at 7 a.m. for me.  The church we had attended before South Ridge started just after 9 a.m., so when we started attending South Ridge, which started at 10:30, it was a breeze to get up and out of the house and be on time or even early to church.  I thought, "Now this is how relaxed Sundays should be!".  But as time went by, we started getting up and ready later and later, until now we are running out of the house every week to make it to church by 11 a.m. - which is now the start time of our church service, since we went to two services.  I am amazed that we used to get everyone ready and out the door by 9 a.m.!  Now that seems like it would be almost impossible.
I think I am going to check the snowbird report and then go try to catch another hour's sleep, since I obviously don't have too much of importance to communicate anyway!  I guess it is good that my blog is called "Random Thoughts" because my thoughts are often very random!

purses, shoes, and other thoughts

I have realized this week that I will never be on any best dressed lists.  I had to buy a pair of shoes this week and I am going to a purse party today.  I have always known that fashion is very low on the list when I am buying clothing, shoes, and purses.  The things that rank higher on my list are: utility, longevity, versatility, comfort, quality, and then fashion.  I have been looking for a pair of black shoes for about 3 months, but have just now bought a pair and I will probably wear them until they are falling apart.  It takes me an just as long to find a purse I like, if not longer.  The purse I am currently carrying, I have had since Bella was a baby (or maybe even before she was born) and she just turned 4.  The seams are starting to come loose a little, but it is still in pretty good shape (that is because quality trumps fashion on my list).  I have a lot of requirements for purses.  This is just a short list: it has to have several pockets or separations inside, so I can organize, it has to be big enough to throw my bible and tablet in for church or juice boxes and a snack, toys or whatever else I need for a trip out with the kids, but not be big and heavy when I am not acting as a pack mule; I prefer it not to be too frumpy, so that all the stuff stays in its place inside, instead of all ending up in a pile at the bottom; it has to be go as well with jeans as it does with dress clothes; it has to be good quality leather, since I keep it so long; it can't be too trendy looking, because I will be keeping it for a while.  There are other things too, but these are my top requirements.  Recently, my physical therapist told me that I should get a side sling or messenger style purse to relieve the weight on my neck muscle that has a tendency to get strained and pulled.  So now I have yet another requirement.  Needless to say, I have been in search for a purse for a few months.  I hope that maybe today I will find one at this purse party, so that's why I'm going.  If I don't find "the one" I won't buy anything.  I was invited to a purse party in the summer by a person at the gym and I told the person who invited me that I wasn't much of a purse party and that I have carried the same purse for several years.  She looked at me like I had grown an extra head.  Her eyes got big and said, "You have carried the same purse for several years!"  You would have thought that I had told her that I have worn the same pair of underwear that long!
But last night as I was thinking about shopping and being trendy, I thought about how unimportant it all seemed in light of the earthquakes in Haiti.  And the earthquakes have just served as a reminder to all of the poverty circumstances that are always in that country.  It is too bad that it takes major tragedy for us in America to pay attention to those who live in desperate circumstances every day and don't have the luxury to have a list of requirements when buying a pair of shoes.  I am pretty familiar with what poverty looks like through my work with Compassion and, yet, I still often get caught up in being trendy or wanting the next best thing. 

Love is patient...

My kids have been bickering a lot and have both exhibited attitudes that are not very complimentary, I decided that I didn't just need to correct the behavior, but to get to the root of why the behavior was bad.  So I wrote out the verse about love from 1 Cor. 13, you know, the "love is patient, love is kind" one, and taped to the hallway wall near their time out spot.  Now, every time they begin to act in an unloving way, we go and read the verse (I read and they repeat) and then they have to tell me what being patient, kind, unselfish, etc. means and why the way they were acting was not loving.  Well, about three mornings after I put it there, I got mad at the kids for goofing around and not getting dressed.  Elias said, "Mommy, you need to go read the verse!".  So, we did and we talked about why I wasn't acting loving.   Although, Elias said that I was selfish because I was always busy and didn't play with them all the time.  I had to explain to him that mommy had responsibilities, and even though it meant that I couldn't play all the time, it didn't mean I was selfish.  I think it has helped us all to remember that we are not only needing to be nice to one another, but why.  I would love to say that is the only time that my kids have had to walk with me to the wall to review the verse for my benefit, but it is not.  But I am glad that it gives me the opportunity to talk to them about mistakes and how we correct them, even if mine are serving as an example!

Now that it's over...

Last week seemed eventful, but I seemed like I was trapped inside of a snow globe all week. I felt that there was a lot going on, but it was all inside my own little house trapped inside a dome of snow.
It was so nice to be home all weekend, though. I was able to get things done around the house, spend time with my family, and go to several events that just happened to be planned on the same weekend as the Compassion conference. I found out that that my area coordinator, with whom I was riding to Indiana, ended up not going because of the weather. So I wouldn't have been able to go anyway and I saved myself the stress of thinking about it Thursday and Friday. But now the weekend is over and I feel like there is so much I should have done. I keep reminding myself that if I hadn't been here at all this weekend, there would have been even more that needs to be done. I am looking forward to Elias going back to school tomorrow. I know he is happy about it. The fact that it is a two-hour delay is sort of a bonus, because we won't have to rush around in the morning.

On another note, Bella started gymnastics last week. Thankfully, the class was scheduled two days after she had been sick, so she was able to attend. She has been asking to take a class for months now. At first, we didn't want to schedule too much at once, since Elias was already in soccer. Then none of the places I called had openings. So, finally she has started and I was so proud of her. She is not necessarily the most eager participant in activities. Often, she gets afraid and sometimes even mean when she is confronted with social situations where she is uncomfortable. But after a minute of uncertainty, she joined right in with the class and listened and participated so well. She was so happy and it was so great seeing her do something that was uniquely for her. Some of the girls were wearing leotards, though just as many were wearing t-shirts and sweats. She asked me if she could get "one of those bathing suit outfits". I couldn't resist it. She really doesn't ask for much materially and I knew it would mean the world for her to have it. So, we went yesterday and picked out a pink leotard and I threw in a little pink skirt for good measure (and to cover up her undies that peeked out the sides). She looks so adorable and has been pretty much been wearing them continually around the house since we got them. She asks me several times a day when she has another gymnastics class and every time I have put her hair up in a pony tail, she gets excited thinking that she is getting ready for her class. So many of the things she does is so uniquely girlish (If that is really a word!)- from her likes and dislikes, even down to her facial expressions. Sometimes it makes me want to pick her up and give her a big squeeze because she is just so darn cute. At other times, it makes me pray for patience and wonder what I am in for in 10 years!

Have we beat the bug?

Well, I think that the stomach bug may have left our house. Both kids are back to their rowdy selves, though not eating quite normally yet. And, so far, neither Josh or I have felt any implications that we may get it. It obviously had to have been something we had before, since we were very well exposed to the virus for the last three days. I am running out of things in the house to cook, though. Not only have I not been to the grocery store, I have to think about what will be the easiest on the kid's stomachs and would be the least offensive if we were revisited with it a few hours later! I am just glad that it is over and now I have to start the daunting sanitation process.
In light of the battle of the bug I have fought this week and the impending storm, I decided not to go to Indiana this weekend for a Compassion Leadership Conference. I went back and forth about it since Tuesday when Bella first got sick, but made the decision after Elias began throwing up for the second time last night. When I made the decision and sent the e-mail to my area coordinator, I felt like a weight had been lifted from my back. The stress of thinking of being gone all weekend and driving in bad conditions and not knowing whether I was going to get sick before I left was really wearing on me. I hated canceling, but knew it was the right decision after I made it. I am getting better at knowing my limits, even though I still have trouble listening to God when He tells me I have reached them! I asked Josh whether I should cancel the trip before I did it and he told me it was completely up to me. I told him jokingly, "I need you to be a demanding, domineering husband just this once!" But after I sent the e-mail, he hugged me and told me he was glad I was staying home. He seriously didn't give me any "vibes" either way about how he felt. Sometimes I am still amazed at how God led me to this wonderful, selfless man that I married! I am looking forward to getting to be with him this weekend - without us cleaning up the floor together or tag teaming sleeping in the living room to watch over one of our sick children. Life is so hard, but it would be even harder if the one who was supposed to be my partner was not my ally. I feel continually blessed and always pray for those who have a spouse who has become their enemy. I think so many people look for romance and mystery when they are dating and forget the fact that they have to actually want to be with this person every day - even when the day offers nothing but frustration and heartache and when romance and mystery seem like something just beyond reach.

This reminds me of one of my favorite Sara Groves songs. I have italicized my favorite part of the song, even though I really love the entire thing.

Fly by Sara Groves

Speak in a summer tone
Pause in the after glow
Tenderly whisper my name
Tell me once again why I am your bride
So I can fly
So I can fly

Pause in your busy day
Look extra long my way
Wink at me across the room
Kiss me longer
Touch my arm when I am by your side
So I can fly
So I can fly

Oh how the little things
Strengthen my tiny wings
Help me to take on the world
When you love me there's nothing I wouldn't try
I might even fly

Update on Bella

Bella was up literally ALL night throwing up every 15-20 minutes. She wouldn't sit up when she started heaving, so she was choking on the bile. So, I had to sit up all night with her and not even catch some sleep in between times when she was up. I got a lot done until about 4 a.m. - catching up on paying bills, sending RSVPs, going through the mail, doing my reading for the church sermon series, etc. But then at 4, I ran out of things I could do, since I was not extremely coherent and was trying to make as little noise and use as little lights as usual. Since Bella was still getting up a few times an hour, I didn't have to worry too much about dozing off. About 6 a.m. Josh got up and told me to try to catch some sleep before he went to work. I laid down, unsure if it was a wise decision to lay down for only an hour. But it is amazing how much an hour can help. I felt so much better when I woke up. Thankfully, Bella seemed to plateau around 7 a.m. and now she is only throwing up when she has water on her stomach and has been sleeping for longer periods of time. I am glad the worst of it is over. I have never seen either of my children throw up so often for so long. She is asking to eat and drink. I am sure she has to be so hungry. I am resisting the urge to give her something besides water and bland tea, since I know it would just come back up. By the time Josh gets home, I will be ready to collapse. I am sort of glad that Elias has school today. That way he can get out of the house and get some social interaction, since most of my attention has been on Bella this morning. Also, it will give me more of an opportunity to catch a nap. I am not good at napping in general, but I think today may just be an exception!

Bella's birthday

Today is Bella's 4th birthday and I had plans to take her out to lunch and have her picture taken. I have the kids picture taken every year around their birthday, so that I can really see how they change from year to year. Having it done on their birthday also helps me remember when it is time to have their picture taken and it also keeps me from giving into the exorbitant prices of the pictures taken by the school (well, for Elias now & Bella in the future). But my plans were changed by the weather. So Bella and I came home after we dropped Elias off to school after his 2 hour delay and we ate turkey and cheese wraps and looked through her baby photos (which I am ashamed to admit are very few, since I have printed barely any since getting a digital camera). She loved looking at the pictures, as always. She said things like, "Awww, look at the cutie bow in my hair!" or "Mommy, your belly was really, really big!" or "Mommy, why did I have to stay in your belly so long?" or "Look how Elias is kissing my head." It really was special to look through them on her birthday and remember what a small bundle of sweetness she was and what a big girl she has already become. Then we played for awhile and when it was time for nap, I let her nap in my bed and I laid down with her. She asks to nap in my bed from time to time and she always asks me to nap with her when she does. Usually, I have things I need to do while she's sleeping or I am looking forward to reading a book, etc. But since today was her birthday, I decided to lay down with her. We cuddled for a while, then she backed away as she started getting groggy. But then she opened her eyes and said, "Mommy, I love taking naps with you and I really do love you." Then she closed her eyes and within minutes was asleep. I laid there feeling guilty over all the times when I anxiously looked forward to her going down for a nap and realized, yet again, that moments like these won't last forever. I can't say I will take a nap with her every day, but I think I need to plan on doing it now and then, while she's still young. I am actually glad our plans got changed for the day. We probably had a more intimate time together than we would have ever had going somewhere out for lunch. Then after dinner we had cupcakes and she opened two of her gifts - a board game and a dress up dress. She put her dress on and looked so pretty and happy. Then we all played her board game together. We saved one for her to open when a few of her little friends could come over and have a play date, but that has been indefinitely postponed now. The reason for the postponement is that just as she was laying down to go to sleep tonight, she threw up. And now, almost 3 hours later, she is still getting up every 15 minutes! At least she was able to enjoy her birthday all day before getting sick. It is now a waiting game to see if the rest of us will get it. I am fairly sure Elias will be next, since he has a habit of finishing off her snacks and had just done so right before they went to bed. It is going to be a long night! She has a well-child check-up scheduled for tomorrow morning, but I guess she won't be going to it! This week has definitely not been going as planned. I am hoping that I will be okay with it and look at it as an invitation to just live my life for what it offers me at the moment. I am supposed to go to Indiana this weekend for a conference with Compassion. Between the weather and this stomach bug, I am feeling very leery about it. I am tempted just to call and tell them I can't come, but I hate canceling on anyone. I am hoping that if I do get sick, it will be before I leave for Indiana and not shortly after I arrive! I guess we will see! Well, I am finally posting this message at a little after 11 and I started it around 9:15. I have lost count of how many times I have changed Bella and her bedding. She is being a good patient through it all, but I am really hoping that she stops throwing up soon, so we all can get some sleep. I guess it is just a reminder of the sleepless nights I spent with her after she was born!